I cant believe what my SIL just said to me.....

[_Laurie]

I'm sorry I was late seeing this post, Robin. How inconceivably horrible of SIL. I just can't believe what a jerk (I would say more here) she is. I agree with Aimee-- you had a very good response to her. Good for you!

Please don't let the nasty, ignorrant comments get you down, though. (I know easy for me to say). That will only tear you down more emotionally when you are already suffering in all aspects so much right now. Remember that for one person who is questioning your experinces, you have an army of HG'ers who is ready to defend you to the end.

We all love you, Robin and we're proud of you!

Laurie

[nomore]

thanks Laurie. You all are my best support here...... I just wish we were all here cuz we had someting happy and easy to deal with.... not HG.

Love me

[bratty477]

Hi Robin,

WOW, I can't believe you got that e-mail from your SIL either! You were too kind in your response to your SIL. I don't know that I could be so nice under the same circumstances. Well, the important thing is that the most important people in your life (like your DH) are right behind you. That's all that matters. I am quite impressed with your husband...it is so very clear how much he loves and supports you!!!!

The one thing HG taught me is that life is too short...to be dealing with people who do not matter or make a difference in my life. In fact, it was during this time that I really discovered who my true friends were and decided to cut the excess fat/BS out.

In fact, I booted a couple of friends (one had accused me of pretending to be so sick...she got mad that I canceled on dinner). Come on! If I'm puking up stomach bile, what makes her think that I could hold down food????!!!! She got mad that I missed her son's birthday party (I passed out that morning attempting to walk a block - from having been bedridden for so long). On and on and on...

Needless to say, all this has made me a much stronger person than I was...hang in there. We know and understand where you are coming from. You do not owe anyone an explanation on anything. If they don't like it, they can just bug off and go on about their business.

Sending you lots of hugs and smiles!

[nomore]

One more update:

I got a flower delivery today of pretty flowers. I of course had NO clue who sent them. Imagine my surprise when the card was from my SIL.

Written in the card: Robin- I am so sorry. I dont know why I ever said what I did the other day. I hope you can someday forgive me.

Well, I already decided that since she is close family.... and prior to this, she emailed me a few times with apologies.... that I would just have to get over this..... the last thing I want to do is cause some huge kind of rift in the family. I mean, Im still angry, but at least I said what I needed to say..... and I tried to do it civily. (Dh's approach to her was not nearly as nice...lol). Hes still very angry. But, I hate the stress of anger to others. She clearly knows she should of kept her opinions to herself. I am smart enough to understand that some will never "get-understand" HG. I think she realizes that after years of knowingly pissing me off, and me saying zilch, that she clearly crossed a line this time. I am confident that she knows it was NOT the right thing to say to me..... espeically right now.

So, I guess I will forgive her. It doesnt mean I will forget.... but I can be the bigger person and move past this..... ESPECIALlY since I have never in my life heard her say she was WRONG You know.... someone, I cant recall excactly who posted it right now, said maybe she is jealous. Some days I think she is..... I know she wants another baby.... but finacially its not the right time for them right now. So, one never knows...

And..... by the way, even though I am forgiving her DOESNT mean she still couldnt visit HG island..... or go through any of the other wonderful ideas you all came up with..... arent us HG gals creative?

Robin

[Kadinga]

Robin,

I am very impressed that you are looking towards forgiving this woman. You are so right that some people will just never understand, even when they say they do, and with this woman's apparent history of stepping over the line, maybe that apology is sincere and heralds a new era in your relationship with her. It's got to help a bit, knowing that your husband supports your feelings, and that you are therefore not alone in your perception of the situation.

I just wanted you to know how impressed I am. You are showing so much strength of character and soul.

Amanda

[helen-l-a]

I think to forgive her, but probably not forget is the right thing to do... like you say Family Rifts are not very pleasant and this would turn into a pretty big one if left to fester for too long. Good on you for doing this in almost unforgiveable circumstances. At least she has acknowledged she was bang out of order.

Helenxxx