Information for us about miscarriage

Help with physical and emotional healing for moms who have suffered loss.

Moderators: justme, ***, deb

Information for us about miscarriage

Postby justme » May 16, 2007 8:34 am

I know that a lot of us question ourselves when we have a miscarriage or pregnancy loss, and wonder if we somehow caused it. And I know that during the midst of our worst hg, many of us pray for a miscarriage or even think about termination (http://forums.helpher.org/viewtopic.php?t=15338). The truth is, these thoughts do not cause a miscarriage. And, the truth is that HG is a horrible (in fact, it is a DEBILITATING, LIFE THREATENING disease) that can cause a variety of very real physical and emotional problems. I hope that some of this information will help us understand miscarriage and find peace in the knowledge that although we may have been desperately ill and at times conflicted about our pregnancies, we did not cause them to happen.

Depending on who you ask, anywhere from 1 out of 5 to 1 out of 3 pregnancies end in miscarriage during the first 20 weeks of pregnancy. In more than 50% (estimated to be up to 70%) of these losses, chromosonal abnormalities are the cause and there is nothing that can be done to prevent them. In other instances, such as blood clotting disorders and hormone issues (thyroid) - there are things they can try, but they are not guaranteed to ensure the safety of your pregnancy.

http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregna ... riage.html
Please note:
During the first trimester, the most common cause of miscarriage is chromosomal abnormality - meaning that something is not correct with the baby's chromosomes.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/miscarriage/PR00097
Comfort for us: Nausea and vomiting in pregnancy, even if it is severe, won't cause a miscarriage. And . . . "In the vast majority of miscarriages, NOTHING can be done to prevent them."

Other miscarriage articles:
http://www.medicinenet.com/miscarriage/article.htm
http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/pregna ... s/252.html
http://patients.uptodate.com/topic.asp? ... egnan/5386

Threatened Miscarriage:
http://www.pregnancy-info.net/threatene ... riage.html

Missed Miscarriage:
http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-misse ... rriage.htm

A teen article about miscarriage even talks about how teens will try to cause their own miscarriage:
Some women try to end their pregnancies by
drinking vinegar, chemicals, or alcohol
hitting themselves (or being hit) in the stomach
exercising too hard
starving themselves
lifting something heavy
falling down stairs
It is rare for any of these things to cause early pregnancy failure.

Books about understanding miscarriage:
Coming to Term: Discovering the truth about miscarriage
http://www.amazon.com/Coming-Term-Uncov ... 722&sr=1-1
Miscarriage: Why it happens and how to best reduce your risks
http://www.amazon.com/Miscarriage-Happe ... 722&sr=1-1

Recommended testing for recurrent pregnancy loss:
http://www.fertilityplus.org/faq/miscarriage/rpl.html

I am so sorry for all of our losses. I hope that those of you who need it will find peace in the knowledge that you did not cause this to happen and that your babies are safe and loved and waiting to be reunited with you.

Hugs,
Karen
Last edited by justme on Jan 22, 2008 4:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
justme
Forum Moderator
 
Posts: 4818
Joined: Apr 21, 2006 10:48 am

Postby justme » May 16, 2007 8:41 am

This is a very Christian article about Baby Grief, some of you may find it helpful. I especially like the 7 points at the end:

http://babygrief.com/_wsn/page10.html

1. God sees our heartache and takes seriously our loss.
2. Every life is a complete life, even though it may not look that way to us.
3. God loves little children and will welcome them all into heaven.
4. God has purposes that we cannot understand.
5. God may be protecting them from something far worse later in life.
6. We are part of a fallen human race.
7. The people closest to God have never been immune to painful circumstances.
justme
Forum Moderator
 
Posts: 4818
Joined: Apr 21, 2006 10:48 am

Postby jwinning221 » May 16, 2007 9:04 pm

Thank you for reminding us all that there was nothing we could have done to prevent our losses. Sometimes our heart takes over when our head knows otherwise!

Big :hugs: to all mommas who are missing their angels
Jenn

2 Severe HG pgs and three beautiful angels.

"Don't tell me that I won't, I can. Don't tell me that I'm not, I am. Don't tell me that my master plan ain't comin' true. Don't tell me that I won't, I will. Don't tell me how to think and feel. Don't tell me 'cause I know what's real, what I can do" --Joss Stone "Free Me"
jwinning221
Devoted to You
 
Posts: 1246
Joined: Apr 10, 2007 6:00 pm
Location: Akron, Ohio

Postby IslandDreamer » Nov 03, 2007 7:47 pm

:hugs:
IslandDreamer
HER Majesty
 
Posts: 9259
Joined: Jul 12, 2004 10:49 pm
Location: Texas

Postby Char » Nov 15, 2007 6:56 pm

Thank you for posting these links. I had a "missed" miscarriage or "blighted ovum" and never did really understand what that meant. I also wonder/worry if all my anxiety over feeling so bad caused me to miscarry or if my thoughts of termination somehow caused it. . . I know that sounds stupid. I am an educated woman. I know you can't wish a pregnancy away but I told my OB at the time that I truly thought I was too stressed. I prayed hard one night for God to take the illness away because I just couldn't handle anymore of it and my baby stopped growing the next day. I have a tremendous amount of guilt over that.
Char
Been There Done That
 
Posts: 347
Joined: Sep 15, 2006 6:33 pm

Postby IslandDreamer » Nov 15, 2007 7:02 pm

(((Char)))))

I relate to what you say. I was terribly sick with Hope and asked the doc to terminate...then I was in the ER for fluids, got Reglan, had a reaction, and had auditory hallucinations (babies crying). Hope died within the week. The guilt was overwhelming. Most days now, I forgive myself and understand it was the HG and the cognitive damage done by dehydration, medication side effects, and malnutrition....the analytical me knows all this, but some days the mommy-me just feels guilty...especially when heartless people heap guilt and ignorance.

I'm so very sorry about your baby and all you have suffered. We will love you and your baby. We know the pain of loss and of HG. We are here for you.

Love,
Suzanne



Karen, thanks for this great post. You KNOW I've been obsessing lately about why Hope died, and your links and PMs have been so wonderful.
IslandDreamer
HER Majesty
 
Posts: 9259
Joined: Jul 12, 2004 10:49 pm
Location: Texas

Postby janbabe » Nov 16, 2007 4:19 pm

Thanks for this post Karen. :hugs: :hugs: to all us mums who are suffering and sad, Im so glad we have this caring community here. Its so good to be able to come here and get answers or just love and comfort when we arent getting our needs met IRL. :hugs: You guys are all amazing!
janbabe
Forum Moderator
 
Posts: 2730
Joined: Aug 18, 2007 1:06 am
Location: Australia

Postby PamelaRose » Nov 16, 2007 6:43 pm

Great list of resources, Karen! I know it took a very long time to get past the guilt of our initial reactions to a surprise pregnancy and wanting to die rather than be sick any longer; statistics and medical explanations helped me process the loss and understand that I played no role in it. And I had to reprocess all of those emotions when I found HG information years later. There's comfort in science sometimes, and I hope all of us can come to terms with loss in the greater context of our lives. Hugs!
Pamela

4-Time HG Survivor
*Brody (8-11-98 )
*Avery (1-24-01)
*Reilly (12-16-02)
PamelaRose
Forums Administrator
 
Posts: 6263
Joined: Apr 05, 2004 8:34 pm
Location: Danube, MN

Postby IslandDreamer » Dec 03, 2007 11:57 pm

Bump
IslandDreamer
HER Majesty
 
Posts: 9259
Joined: Jul 12, 2004 10:49 pm
Location: Texas

Postby Susannah » Dec 04, 2007 12:19 am

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Susannah
Forum Moderator
 
Posts: 9274
Joined: Jan 29, 2006 11:57 am
Location: Massachusetts

Postby IslandDreamer » Jan 22, 2008 3:35 pm

bump
IslandDreamer
HER Majesty
 
Posts: 9259
Joined: Jul 12, 2004 10:49 pm
Location: Texas

Postby justme » Jan 22, 2008 4:12 pm

justme
Forum Moderator
 
Posts: 4818
Joined: Apr 21, 2006 10:48 am

Postby justme » Jul 10, 2008 5:17 pm

A very good, informative medical look:

http://www.docwelden.com/InformativeArt ... fault.aspx
justme
Forum Moderator
 
Posts: 4818
Joined: Apr 21, 2006 10:48 am

I especially like point 7

Postby Gemika » Dec 11, 2008 4:02 am

The hardest thing as a Christian was struggling with my feelings that the healing was somehow tied into how much faith I had - or rather 'hope'. Becase real faith is when God tells you something. When he tells you something it just IS> It doesn't require any TRYING to believe. You can feel very alone as people tell you 'just believe' when you are trying just to cope - as if the first thing you did wasn't to PRAY!!! You say but what about Job? And they treat you as though he was someone special (and you are not). What about Paul? What about Jesus? "He endured the cross for the hope set before Him". God doesn't always just take things away. To believe this would be humanistic. Then we would all be rich, and have everything we wanted and probably be selfish little brats coz we would never learn anything! The world does not revolve around us.
Im a survivor
Gemika
Welcomed Friend
 
Posts: 93
Joined: Aug 19, 2008 5:27 am


Return to Loss, Grief & Recovery

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests