October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss month

Help with physical and emotional healing for moms who have suffered loss.

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October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss month

Postby IslandDreamer » Oct 14, 2004 2:08 am

What are you doing (if anything) to honor your baby(s) during this month? The 15th is a special day of remembrance.

Here are some links:

http://www.hannah.org/resources/aware.htm#Oct

http://www.prweb.com/releases/2003/10/prweb84135.php

On October 9, I participated in a Walk to Remember. The hospital in Commerce, Michigan, has a grief program that sponsors the Walk. Everyone met in a conference room where we had treats, got a program, window hanger (pretty glass leaf to hang in a sunny window), ornament for the Mother tree, a white rose, and as many balloons as we needed. And the seed packs I put together were a hit: Chris and I cultivated iris seeds from the Memorial Garden, and I put them in little plastic bags for families to take home.

Sadly, I claimed 5 balloons. Three for my own babies and two for a friend who missed her Walk. I walked alone, except for the little bears in my backpack: one went to the ER for another m/c mommy, one is my little Hope bear, and two are the bears for my friend's lost babies.

It was a lovely, sunny, brisk autumn day. We walked the hospital grounds to the Memorial Garden. Once there, the leaders read some poems and read the babies' names. As my babies' names were read, I was to take the ornament to the tree, but I hung mine later by myself.

Then we released the balloons. One woman suggested I release as much pain as possible with the balloons. But my balloons got all tangled up and I got upset. The woman helped me untangle things, retie my note to my babies, and I released them. Watched them go up up up. Then they disappeared from my view. Lots of sobbing and loud crying from me. :crying:

Before leaving for my second visit to the garden, I went to the ER to deliver the bear. (I had two bears with me in the morning, but sadly, one of the women from my support group lost her second baby at 10 weeks, just this Wednesday, so I gave her the second bear.) At the ER, the nurse tried to send the one bear to L&D. I said, no, please let it be for a mom who miscarries in the ER, like I did. She understood and took the bear to the charge nurse. Attached to the bear is a sympathy note and online grief resources.

When I walked out to my car to drive to the garden, I saw a fat yellow butterfly dancing in front of me. Literally dancing. I actually held my hand out hoping it would land. Started to cry as it danced away. You see, ever since I prayed for a sign from God that Hope is in Heaven, I've seen yellow butterflies...giant yellow butterflies. This butterfly danced for me in October in Michigan, after a few frosts. I believe that butterfly is a miracle for my comfort. Letting me know that Hope and the babies are fine, they are together, and they know I love them.

After going to the ER with the bear, I went back to the garden to hang my ornament for Hope and the babies. I planted an iris for Hope. I noticed that someone had brought mums that needed to be planted, so I put those in the ground, too. My last gesture at the garden was to leave a little Hello Kitty (with bumble bee costume) and a fourth candle by Hope's broken ceramic Pooh. She's been gone more than four months. Seems like forever and a minute all at once.
IslandDreamer
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