Hyperemesis Gravidarum Support and Research Forums

I know I shouldn't have another bio child, but I want another. Adoption has never felt right to me. Last week something happened that made me feel a tiny bit more open to adoption, though.

A friend spent a month in Uganda volunteering for an aid agency last summer. He spent a fair amount of time in a orphanage and became very attached to a little girl. Her age was unknown, but thought to be around 15 mos at the time. He looked very seriously into adopting her. It's almost impossible to adopt a child from Uganda, and he learned that it IS impossible for a single male to adopt a girl.

I finally saw the pictures from his trip last week and was really taken by the pictures of him holding this little girl. It made me think, "I could raise a kid like her."

Now I feel a little more open to adopting a baby who is truly in need. Being honest with myself, I know I am not ready to take on a child with special needs, and I am only willing to adopt a baby because of fears of attachment disorders and the safety of my kids.

If it even is possible to adopt an orphan from Uganda or another desparately impoverished area (and that's a huge IF), I wonder about inter-racial adoption, especially bring a child of color to a very white area like Montana. And what about taking a child completely out of his/her native culture? And by what age do babies need to be adopted to eliminate the possibility of attachment disorder?

Does anyone have thoughts on these things?

Funny, I've been mulling over these questions lots recently. As you know, I've been considering adoption for a long time, and am now really searching for answers about the exact issues you raise. I spoke to a Chinese friend recently about adopting a Chinese child and what her advice would be about cultural issues. We didn't get to anything concrete, and will talk again about it another time. Very important issues!

Sarah, I thought of another question. I don't know if it is true, but I have heard that if you bring a child of another race into your family it is better to bring in two of that race. I guess it's so there is someone else like them. I dunno. Have you ever heard that before?

I have. I also have a friend who has two bio kids of one race and a third, the youngest, of another. It seems to be working well. Deborah is 12 and has some issues with being adopted, but generally seems to be doing great and feels very connected to the older girls. They told me that they consider her 100% their sister and never even think about the fact that she's adopted.