Just need to whine.

Including Post Partum Depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder & flashbacks.

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Just need to whine.

Postby LadyBug1 » Nov 13, 2012 9:40 am

I hate doing this, I know so many of you ladies are suffering so much more than me, but my poor husband listens to be all day everyday. I tried for ten minutes to convince myself that I can open the fridge long enough to get DDs lunch out, but I just can't. I finally sat in front of the fridge and cried. I am so sick of being sick. I'm so sick of having a good day or two and getting my hopes up, even though I know I shouldn't, only to be greeted by a morning where I spend twenty minutes in bed convincing myself the nausea has subsided enough for me to move. I'm so sick of gaining back a pound or two only to feel it melting back off on my next bad day. I'm sick of having to make sure I have my bag of pills every time I leave the house. I'm sick of walking in a building and locating the restroom first thing, just in case. I'm sick of my co-workers and classmates resenting me for "special treatment". I'm sick of people telling me they were sick too, that it passes.

**FOODMENT I want to eat a huge salad and chug a glass of ice cold water. FOODMENT** I want to exercise, play with my DD, be intimate with my husband, go for a walk, spend a single day where I'm not thinking about throwing up, eating, losing weight, being dehydrated, etc. When people congratulate me I just can't be happy about, I want this baby, but I feel so foolish for thinking my body wouldn't betray me again. I keep wondering how long it will last this time since it started earlier. I'm ready for May, I'm ready to have my new beautiful baby and get fixed so this never happens again. I wish I didn't think everyday how much better our lives would be if we had decided to go straight to adoption like we originally planned. I can't wait until this baby moves regularly so I can remember why I'm doing this. My new mantra has become: "I can do this, it is worth doing." I know it's worth it in the end, but the journey is just so hard.

Thanks for "listening".
DD 05/2010 - moderate HG 7-20 weeks (phenegran, IV fluids/zofran), mild HG 20-birth, lost 11% bodyweight
DS 05/2013 - mild HG 6 weeks - 35 weeks (zofran, zantac, B6, tums, colace), MS 35-birth (zofran as needed), lost 7% bodyweight

Tubal ligation following the birth of DS.

My perfect family was worth every minute.
LadyBug1
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Re: Just need to whine.

Postby joy_g » Nov 13, 2012 7:25 pm

whine away, dahling. we all understand! i remember with DD just sitting on the floor in front of the pantry, bawling. i just couldn't get up and even look for something to eat, much less fix it. so i sat down and cried and cried. i don't remember for sure, but probably then i threw up.
did you feel better at some point during #1?
just call me Mighty Mom. (mighty what i'm not gonna say.)
DD May 2008
DS New Year's Eve, 2011
DD May 2013 HG 5w-delivery every single time.
joy_g
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Re: Just need to whine.

Postby Gwen » Oct 04, 2013 9:20 am

I know this is old post but omg I could have written this myself! Thank you for putting into words what I can't articulate right now-so having my dh read this!
Gwen mom to Ella 3 years old (NVP), Isaiah 20 months (HG), number 3 on the way 4/29/14.
Gwen
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Re: Just need to whine.

Postby witch_baby » Oct 04, 2013 9:17 pm

I think most of us on here have felt this way or very similar. Hg has taken me to many a dark place mentally and physically. Your feelings are totally normal considering the hell your going through. Every day seems like an eternity to me and the past 7 months of pregnancy, feels like 7 years. Now I am closer to my due date and have better medical care, it's a bit easier to handle. If you have done this before, you are strong enough to do it again.
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