The tears are streaming down my face and burning my eyes. I can barely see the computer moniter.
I've been trying to sleep now for hours, and I just can't. I needed to write something to you, the good people who are finally giving a voice to hyperemesis.
So many times I've had to try and describe to people what I've been through, and there's no easy way. It was so horrific. So spirit shattering. So important.
At seventeen I concieved my son.
My hyperemesis was the worst case that any of the specialists that saw me had seen.
I was hospitalized my entire pregnancy. I had to give up eating completely and was fed through TPN 24 hours a day.
At one point, my mother was taken aside and told to say goodbye to me and notify family members that I may not live until morning.
At seventeen years old, a picture of health and vibrancy, I was reduced to wearing adult diapers, using a wheelchair, my grandfathers walker and bedside comode and needing an electronic hospital bed to sit myself up to vomit.
It was torture.
My son was born premature (much to my relief) and healthy. Truly a miracle child.
After 5 years of recovering from my pregnancy, building my muscle back up and recovering from an over-eating disorder my partner and I decided we were ready to try and have another baby.
I was so sure in my heart that the second time around would different.
We concieved immediately and were thrilled.
Unfortunately, the hyperemesis returned, full force. This time, without the resources I'd had with my first pregnancy, I started to deteriorate faster, both on a physical level and emotional level.
After being hospitalized and told that there was nothing more they could do to try and alleviate my nausea and vomitting, I made the very difficult decision to terminate the pregnancy at 10 weeks.
Now, 5 months later, I am mourning the loss of my second baby and suffering with the reality that I can not have any more children of my own. It is hard to swallow, to say the least.
This is the most condensed, edited version of my story I can manage. I know whoever is reading this doesn't need to read through all the details, and my emotions are hijacking the coherant part of my brain. So I apologise if this isn't well written.
Please know, that by speaking out about hyperemesis you are healing a part of my soul that is breaking.
By reading this, and sharing the stories of other families who suffer with this illness, you give me hope.
Please, if I can contribute at all to the show, please contact me. If by email, phone or in person..I'm available to you for anything you need.
mommyopal@yahoo.ca
thank you
Opal Schumacher