Yet another drama.

[HGx3]

Okay, so I am fresh out of the hospital from a case of pancreatitus!! It seems a gall stone travled and lodged in the bile duct causing my pancreas to swell and me to throw up like I did while pg. I had an ERCP, where the go down the throat with a scope and fix the problem. When they got in, the stone had passed. I am sooooooooooooooo exhausted. I feel like it will be years before I fully recover!!!!!!

I am trapped in an eternal HG like state....it SUX~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Cheri]

Lisa,
I sure hope this will end for you soon!! You don't deserve all this drama!!

Wishing you lots of peaceful, healthy days ahead.

Cheri

[HGx3]

Oh Cheri, thank you so much. I hope it all ends soon too. I am worn out emotionally and mentally, aside from the physical aspects of it all!!!

hugs!

[jjbeck]

Lisa, How is your pancreatitis? Hope things are settling for you.

[HGx3]

Thanks so much for asking! I am doing alright. My poor body has just been thru so much with the 3 pgs, then the gall bladder and then the pancreatitus. I havent had any episodes since that last hospitalization. I had to watch my diet real close for a while, but things are getting back to normal somewhat. I am still very exhausted, but hope that it will improve from here on out.

I am still planning a tubal. I was unable to do it as scheduled due to my other health issues, but I will be scheduling it here in the next week or so.

I am sure I NEVER want to go thru HG again!!!!!!!!!

[IslandDreamer]

Oh Lisa,

I'm sorry your body is being difficult...not fun. Hope you heal completely and quickly.

[HGx3]

Thanks Suzanne. How are you holding up? I hope your heart is healing. I am thinking of you.......

[IslandDreamer]

Lisa,

Thanks for asking, and for your kind thoughts. Today is three months since she was born...having a hard time this afternoon (this life). Dh is cool about freeing me up to spend some time at the hospital memorial garden tonight...even though her ashes are home with us and she never went to the garden, I feel close to her there. sigh. Just when I think I'm getting a handle on my heart, bam....it hits again.

You and your family are well? The baby? Can we post pictures here? I'd love to see the wee one.

[HGx3]

Oh my gosh, I am just so sorry. I cant even imagine how painful this must be for you. The only reassurance I guess is that you KNOW she is with God. I am actually crying as I type.

Josh turned three months old yesterday.....he is growing like a weed. Already 15lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am just trying to get myself back in order, you know? My gallbladder disease was so bad that I could have died. I figured if hg didnt kill me, then neither was the GB. Anyway, I will try to insert a picture of him for you to see.

I feel horrible telling you about him knowing how your heart is aching, please know my thoughts and prayers are with you.

[IslandDreamer]

Hi Lisa,

Please don't worry about sharing Joshua with me. If I couldn't deal, I really wouldn't ask, honest...and that he arrived screaming the day before she was born so tiny and quiet is actually comforting...like someone caught their dream when I couldn't. She was so fleeting.

And thank you for your tears. You have no idea how good it feels to know someone besides me sheds them for her now and then. It's incredibly isolating when your baby dies and everyone thinks she was too young to matter or cry over. Not that I wish you any tears at all....just a weird sort of gratitude for them.

She is with Christ, she is safe, she is living an eternal life of joy....and I even have the blessing of understanding the purpose of her death, or some of the purposes she fulfilled in those 10 short weeks...my little girl has quite the impressive resume. Knowing all this gives me peace and anger isn't an issue at all for me, but I just miss knowing her...I miss her toes...

15 pounds? Man, he's like 5 yo already? At three months, I don't think Christopher had broken 10 pounds...he's a peanut still. Can we get a photo option to see all the babies? I want to see them...but the ones that are born December 2004 need to be posted as 9 pound premies I am so glad Joshua is here and healthy...and I am incredibly glad you are here to mother all your children.

Thank you again for your kindness.
Love,
Suzanne

[HGx3]

Yep, 15 lbs, 95th percentile. Keep in mind he was 3 weeks early and weighed in at 8lbs4oz, AND I delivered him FACEUP!!!!!!!He isbigger than my cousins 6mth old.

About your precious dd.....I realize that others may not understand grieving for a 10 week gestational fetus, but as a mom, I know how I felt from the time I found out I was pg. I prayed everyday that I would just get passed those first 12 weeks. I would have been DEVISTATED had I lost one. 10 weeks is a long time, especially when you are ill on top of it. You are especially aware of the pg b/c you struggle minute by minute with the hg. Regardless of how long you carried Hope, you were pregnant with her, loved her, and therefore miss her, I miss her for you as well. I hope today wasnt too hard on you emotionally. I am glad that our conversation took place today, rather than tomorrow. Maybe it gave you some much needed comfort and support on this 3 month mark. Here is a huge bear hug. Talk to you soon.