Hyperemesis Gravidarum Support and Research Forums

by **dwtegli** » Jul 22, 2004 3:59 pm

Hi all,

I know this question can possible stir up controversy, but I am very interested to know. Why are some of you so willing to go through hell to breastfeed? I do NOT want to insult anyone, I just want to understand.

When I had my first daughter we tried breastfeeding and she didn't want to latch on. The nurse threatened that if she didn't latch on, they would have to put in a feeding tube. I told them no way, that we would give her a bottle first. We wound up bottle feeding her. With my second daughter we didn't even try breastfeeding. I know that breastfeeding is supposed to be better for the babies, but both of my girls are extremely healthy. This has just never been a major deal to me. I know everyone has their own opinions and I would just like to hear yours.

Thanks, hope I didn't offend anyone.

by **Natalie** » Jul 22, 2004 5:15 pm

Hi Wendy
I breastfed my dd exclusively until she started solids at 4.5 months. I continue to beastfeed her now and she has just turned 9 months. These are my reasons why:
1. To protect her: mothers pass on antibodies to their babies for the first 16 weeks of life.
2. Nicer smelling nappies as breastmilk is more easily disgestible for babies
3. I didn't have to wash and sterilise bottles, teats etc... (I am v. lazy)
4. Breastfed babies don't need extra fluids which formula babies do (again, laziness creeping in!)
5. Easier at night - I don't have to warm it up (dd likes food warm - see above points)
6. For closeness / bonding
7. Found it more convenient when out and about
8. My health - although very small, research has shown that breatfeeding decreases the risk of breast cancer
9. There was other stuff I was told by my midwife e.g. getting back to prepregnancy figure sooner with breastfeeding and uterus shrinking back to normal size more quickly. For me, I had nothing to measure those against so I couldn't tell you if it were true or not.
I just looked at this web page and I can honestly say I had no idea breastfeeding was so much better than formula.
http://www.breastfeeding.com/all_about/ ... _more.html
The above reasons are my reasons for breastfeeding. As with many parenting issues, feeding is a personal choice and I don't think anyone should impose their viewpoint on anyone else. People do what is best for them at the time. Breastfeeding worked for me this time round but it may not work if I have another baby (and that is a BIG 'if'). I only have the one, you are working on your 3rd :wink:

Hth
Natalie

by **aaronsmommy** » Jul 22, 2004 9:42 pm

I don't feel that I went through hell to breastfeed, but since my baby was in the NICU, it wasn't easy either. All of the standard arguments contributed, but I figure you aren't really interested in me repeating them, so here are my big personal reasons:

#1 Everything about my pregnancy was about as far from normal as it could possibly be, I finally wanted to do something the way it was intended to be done.
#2 My son was born premature and needed to be on a ventilator and I had pushed for an induction and felt guilty over that. Pumping was the only thing I could do for him, so I did it.
#3 I work in health care and part of my job is encouraging people to breastfeed (no forcing going on, just information and helping them get support) and I felt like I should give it my best shot it order to not feel like a hypocrite.
#4 I could finally eat for 2!!!!!! I didn't eat at all for my whole pregnancy (TPN was stopped when we started my induction) and it was so neat to actually be able to give my baby what he needed by lifting a fork and putting food in my mouth. Not to mention how much I enjoyed the extra 500 calories a day I got to eat.

The first 3 weeks or so were the big struggle, then he nursed exclusively for 6 months (so easy!). He's still nursing at 19 months. Definitely worth the 3 weeks of work.
Weaning? yeah we will someday, but I don't see any point so far.

by **dwtegli** » Jul 23, 2004 10:48 am

Hi Natalie and Aimee,

Thanks for your replies. Those are all good arguments. As you said, I don't want to impose my views on anyone else. I was just curious. I to am lazy and bottle feeding seems so easy. If I am breastfeeding, my hubby, and our parents can't feed the baby. Something they all absolutley love to do. I know I could pump, but we have just found it very easy to bottlefeed. We use the playtex disposable bottles so their is a little less to sterilize. I also don't have to worry about always being around to feed and I don't have to get up at night if I don't want to. I think my husband has always looked forward to getting up in the middle of the night to feed the girls. My favorite thing was to get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and find him on the couch with the baby asleep on his chest. I don't know if I even want to take that away from him.

by **mommyC3** » Jul 25, 2004 1:18 pm

I guess my question would be, why NOT breastfeed?!?!? It's what your body was designed to do. If you can make it through that first week of you and the baby getting used to things, it is the best! (I have nursed three children so far...the first one 26 months, the second one almost three years, and the third one I had to cut cold turkey two weeks ago because of my HG pregnancy. She was only 20 months. I bawled because I felt so guilty taking it from her.) The medical reasons have been addressed. Anyone can bottle feed your baby. You are the only one that can breastfeed it. It is an awesome bond that only a mom can have with her child. Yup...it does tie you down for a while. You don't have to mix and shake and listen to a crying baby while you do so. You don't have to wash nipples/bottles. You don't have to plan ahead for travel. And what about the expense of formula?!?

I'm not trying to sound snotty or sarcastic with my response. I know it's not for everyone. But if you can get used to it...it's a pretty neat thing!

by **mommyC3** » Jul 25, 2004 1:20 pm

P.S. You can pump and let your husband and relatives still have the satisfaction of "feeding" the baby or let mom get out for a few hours.

by **MamaLily** » Jul 25, 2004 3:42 pm

Wendy -

Isn't this such an interesting question? So many people have strong opinions about breastfeeding. I really believe that it is a personal choice.

I breastfed for a lot of the reasons that the others listed. Breastfeeding at first was horrible, and after HG it was especially hard to face another obstacle in taking the best care of my baby. I kept thinking, "Is this another sign of some kind that I'm just not meant to be a mother :lol:

?" Anyway, breastfeeding really was HELL for the first 2 months. And I'm not kidding!

My pediatrician was VERY pro-breastfeeding (too much, in my opinion), but my OB and his nurse (who I really respect) both bottle fed their children. I was ready to quit and then I read that breastfeeding can help prevent Crohn's Disease. My DH has Crohn's, so that one piece of info did it for me. I don't know if it has been confirmed that b/f can prevent Crohn's, but I was willing to give DD the best chance I could at avoiding it. I kept going with b/f, and I am glad that I did.

I supplemented occasionally with formula, so DH was also able to have some special bonding time. It worked out well for us.

I know that it's a very individual choice, and b/f was just the right one for me! I plan on b/f any future children I may have!

- Anna

by **Natalie** » Jul 25, 2004 4:25 pm

Hi Wendy
Oh my gosh! I have just read your post. I hope you didn't think I was implying that you had forced your opinion about not breastfeeding on me. I don't think that at all. I was only trying to say that I think as long as people are happy with the choice they make then that's all that matters. I just hate it when other people try to impose their opinions about how I should bring up my child onto me and I was trying to say that I didn't want to do that to you!!! :lol:

by **aaronsmommy** » Jul 25, 2004 6:51 pm

Wendy -
We certainly all have different things that are important for us.
I had planned to have my husband do some nighttime feedings (with either pumped milk or formula) especially when I went back to work and he stayed home with the baby. We even got a bottle cooler/warmer so we wouldn't need to get to the kitchen in the middle of the night.
We never used it.
It turns out my husband is a incoherent stumbling bear when he wakes in the middle of the night or gets up early, and then he's worthless for the whole day too, plus my son ended up in bed with us which I never would have imagined, so I'd wake up anyway and how much easier can you get than pulling out the boob and falling back to sleep. I never had to get out of bed, so I'd be back to sleep in seconds. I also loved getting that night time cuddle time, although I love it now that he sleeps through the night, I miss those times.

by **mommyC3** » Jul 25, 2004 7:32 pm

Ha!! My kids would only sleep in their crib until the first time they woke during the night. People would ask how many times the baby wakes up at night? I would laugh and say I had no idea. "I just roll over, hook 'um on and go back to sleep." Oh, the funny looks you get!

by **jjbeck** » Jul 26, 2004 12:17 am

HI Wendy. Good question...I think you are very courageous in asking :wink:

. Ava was a month early and I was actually told by the head ped I could not BF for a while as Ava had hypoglycemia and she needed to be on a hi cal formula. Of course the BF consultants were very peeved by this. I felt so awful and confused. I felt guilty that my milk was not enough for her to be healthy at the same time, I felt guilty if I did not give her the formula knowing the consequences if her sugar continued to be low. WHile in the hospital she was on IV dextrose and under the bili light. Once we got her home I was able to BF...BUT still had to give her the hi cal formula. I was scared to death to breast feed as I never knew if she was getting what she needed to survive. Oh yes, I knew about the X amount of wet diapers....but I did not know if she was expending too much energy trying to breastfeed, it was scary for me. Three months later...I still worry. Though she is getting plenty of breast milk...she still gets formula. My milk supply isnt what I wish it could be. It has been lots and lots of work. I breast feed, PUMP, and give formula. I have had yeast infections in my breast, possible mastitis, nipple blanching from vasospasms, cracked and bleeding nipples and lots of daily pain. I often find myself asking the same question you asked. Why breastfeed?
I do it for all of the reasons everyone else listed...but most importantly, I just feel it is my responsibilty to do everything I believe to be in Ava's best interest....yeah it has surely been a struggle...but it is cake compared to the hell we went through to get Ava here.
Thanks for your question, it is nice to see the reasons of other ladies.

by **Traci in Japan** » Jul 26, 2004 7:15 am

I have a wonderful memory of my mother sitting on the rocking chair breastfeeding my youngest sister. I was six. She would always hold a little cup under her other breast to catch the drips!! Don't ask me how, I've never managed that particular trick.

I always knew I would breast feed my children. I only know of one friend who didn't and all my cousins did (and there are 25 of us). So I guess I belong to the 'why wouldn't you?' group.

As with everything with babies, you do what you can. I wouldn't have beaten myself up if I couldn't feed them, same as I didn't worry about meds. that I needed, and medical intervention during delivery.

I took to breastfeeding easily and so have been very lucky three times. One bout of mastitis at 2 months with my first baby. I weaned the older two both without trouble in order to prepare for the next baby. For some of us feeding is not difficult. My hg is essentially over at 20 weeks although I was feeling very exhausted to the end.

I also co-sleep (everyone does here) so I really have no idea about getting up in the night. I know I am woken by my four year old and two year old more often than the baby. He just snuggles in for a drink and I drift off again. I've never put the light on or needed to get out of bed. My eldest slept through (six hours) at three months and my second at 6 weeks. This baby is two and a half months and he has slept for nine hours four nights this week. Sometimes a cuddle is what he needs so I push him over to his father.

On the down side, I find I need to run around to get things done for when the baby needs a feed because then I am forced to sit for 30 mins or so. That means having a drink and food etc for my older two to have. Getting them started on a project or something. You have an older child who would be capable of handling those things for you. Also if you have someone who is available for bottle feeds then you would be ok to find the time to breastfeed. That isn't the case for me so sometimes I need to tell the older two to be patient, and on the whole they have been very good about waiting.

I can and do wander around with the baby feeding while I'm at home. He isn't too heavy yet. But lying down is my preference. Recently I have even learnt how to feed him while in the sling, so I can now shop with him feeding away. Not something I would normally think of, but my parents were visiting and needed help shopping as they couldn't read anything. I was trying very hard to fit everything into a short visit with them.

These are my experiences breastfeeding. They work for me. They may not suit your lifestyle.

I can't comment on bottle feeding as I've never used one. But I know I think we are so very lucky to have that choice.

Good luck with your search for answers. I know I find breastfeeding almost magical and I think it would be nice if it worked for you, but aside from loving your child, everything else is optional. Choose what suits you.

by **mandy** » Jul 27, 2004 9:01 am

I was lucky enough to have a good friend give me sound advice before my first was born. She said you should only breastfeed if it comes fairly naturally and easily, if you get yourself in a state about it, it does you or the baby no good. This rang true for me. With my first I b/f for 9 weeks and then changed to formula because I wanted 'me' back. With my second I found it extremely hard. He was 9lb born and very hungry! I think a combination of the hg and a big baby meant I really struggled to have a good milk supply for him. I gave up after 2 weeks and my baby transformed from a restless, demanding baby to a content little boy.

My view is do what suits. Its a shame not to try b/f as it was wonderful.............when it worked well. However, b/f or formula, it has been shown over time that both provide what a child needs. There are so many healthy adults walking around today who never had a drop of breast milk in infancy......including me!

by **Tammy** » Jul 27, 2004 12:11 pm

I breastfed Brad bc like other Moms I wanted something "normal/natural" and bc it was "right" at the time i didnt know why it was so important but ive come to realize over the past 2 almost 2 1/2 years how important bf-ing is...
Bradley and I have a bond that i really dont think would be half as intense had i not breastfed. My son is attached to me...not a blankie or a soother or a stuffed toy..It is an incredible feeling to have share that bond with your child..
2 weeks ago he fell and I (even being a nurse) had never seen so much blood..I panicked i tried to calm him nothing worked till I sat in the grocery stores staff room on the floor and put him to my breast. Instant calm for both of us...
Everyone knows the medical scientific reasons why you "should" b/f.. No one knows why until after youve experienced that closeness....
Enough said ill get off my soapbox...lol good luck with whatever you choose.
hugs Tammy

by **emily** » Jul 28, 2004 11:10 am

Well, both breastfeeding and bottle feeding have a list of pros and cons, but I think breastfeeding wins out by a long shot. After a rough first 3 weeks I LOVED breastfeeding. And it is soooo much easier than bottles.

But really, why did I persevere through those first three weeks?

MONEY! Bottle feeding is soooooooooo expensive. I couldn't afford formula and we did not qualify for WIC.

by **Kschwintz** » Jul 28, 2004 5:09 pm

Here's my 2 cents.

I had colostrum and that is it. I had every intention of breast feeding, but when it came time, the nurses wanted to try SNS and other interventions that made me feel like I had cow utters. After all the hell I had been through, I just simply had nothing else to give.

I'm sure that if I ever got pg again, I would try breastfeeding again. I do not think it is something that women should feel guilty about. Either it's for you, or it's not....

I have no regrets about bottle feeding. My Ainsley LOVED her bottles and wouldn't even touch the boob, except for the colostrum I pumped.

Take care,

by **RebeccaM** » Jul 28, 2004 6:35 pm

I think I asked myself the same question for the first three months of breastfeeding my daughter. Although, I wouldn't go as far as to say it was hell. At least not for me. But is was EXTREMELY painful fo the first two months and I did have a nasty case of mastitis (during Christmas of all times).

Many times I came close to just giving up, but when it came down to it I just couldn't do it. I think it was the natural motherly instinct in me to do anything and go through anything to give my baby the best possible care that I could give her.

She never got sick while I was BFing, other than a couple of UTI's (but those were unavoidable no matter what she ate).

Unfortuately I ran out of milk at about 7 months. Thank goodness we have the luxury today of relying on formula. A century or two ago that wasn't an option. You had to have a wet nurse (how would that have been I wonder?).

My other biggest reason for breast feeding...I would have to agree with Emily. Formula is ridculously expensive! Thank goodness I only have to buy it for another two months.

When it comes to BFing, you educate yourself, and ultimately do what works for you. It sounds like you've thought out your decision, at I think that's the best thing you can do.

by **Laurie** » Aug 01, 2004 11:42 am

I say, Why not? Why not at least try? Some moms never go through hell...I certainly didn't! With #1, we were latched on and nursing like pros from the very start. Never had mastitis or thrush or anything. It was so easy and I didn't want to mess with bottles and extra heavy diaper bags with formula and the cost of formula and recalls on formula....the list goes on and on.

It boils down to I'm a natural mommy. I bf my kids, I homeschool, I let them learn on their own terms as kids were built to do.

But I do have to say that there are MANY benefits of breastmilk and breastfeeding that formula cannot compare to at all. I don't like the fact that formula companies have come up with that slogan "breast is best...ask your doctor". What if they changed it to "formula is inferior...ask your doctor"? I bet their sales would go down.

(I'm not usually so brutally honest but you asked.) Here is a great website with 101 reasons to breastfeed... http://www.promom.org/101/

Big medical reasons for *me*...
-NOT bf increases a mom's risk of breast cancer, endometrial cancer and ovarian cancer
-formula feeding increases a baby girls risk of breast cancer later in life
-preterm milk is specifically designed for pre-term babies
-formula feeding increases baby's risk of type 1 diabetes
-formula feeding increases baby's risk of allergies (and we have enough of those in our family!)
-breast milk lowers risk of ear infections, asthma, bacterial meningitis, respiratory infections, rheumatoid arthritis, hodgkins disease, vision problems.
-formula feeding increases baby's risk of childhood cancers, obesity and SIDS

by **kmwilson** » Aug 01, 2004 2:21 pm

I totally agree with personal choice, and it won't do the baby good if breastfeeding causes you so much grief. They sense frustration and resentment - that is why I didn't breastfeed my second longer than 6 months.

My first-born was wonderful (after that 3 week beginning period), we nursed, read books, cuddled, saved money, bonded, pumped etc. I quit at one-year b/c I was ready to have my body back, too. Althought I never regreted any of those moments.

My second-born wasn't so great. He was harder to feed, harder to latch on, longer to feed, more hungry than her etc. Then I dealt with several infections (after only experiencing one the first birth), and low and behold he got his first tooth at 3 months.

Yes, my husband was apparently born with three teeth, so this wasn't a surprise. However, it made breastfeeding more difficult. It is not supposed to do so, which it didn't affect bf with my first born after her first teeth. However with my son, he was constanting biting me, making my nipples bleed, cracking my nipples, etc. etc.

At 6 months (3 months after the teeth came in) I had had enough. It was a tough decision b/c I'd loved feeding my daughter for one year, but it was time for me to parent without the frustration.

I can say that I'm even glad I breastfeed him for even 6 months because I was always smaller (weight and frame) after breastfeeding than before getting pregnant.

One wierd thing that happened to us too, it didn't matter I breastfeed both of them. They still both got sick during the timeframe they were on breastmilk. So sometimes breastfeeding doesn't keep them from getting sick even more than formula.

Only you can decide whether it will work for you - and you may not make that decision until the week your child is born.

by **Kschwintz** » Aug 02, 2004 8:51 am

Laurie,

I just have to comment on your post.

First of all, I have serious doubts about your claims that formula causes cancer and SIDS. If that were true, no one would formula feed.

Secondly, what about those of us who nearly died during childbirth, body went into shock and didn't make any milk? Does that make me any less of a mom?

I don't think the original poster wanting those kinds of views pressed on her, I think she just wanted to weigh the pros and cons.

Different parenting methods are for different people. It would be great if we were all stay at home moms who could breastfeed 24 hours a day, with great latch and no supply problems, but unfortunately, that is not a reality for everyone.

All I ask is that you don't say things like "Formula causes cancer and SIDS." Also, type I diabetes is genetic, so bf or formula would not change that.

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