Bitterness and Resentment

Discuss the lasting impact from HG on moms and babies: long term health issues, child development, and other ways HG continues to impact your life.

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Re: Bitterness and Resentment

Postby xrittle » Apr 05, 2013 12:11 pm

I hope you ladies don't mind, but I showed your responses to my DH. It was like a light clicked on for him. No more cooking in the house, he doesn't fuss over the lights, he volunteered to arrange child care... and guess what? I started to recover. I've been weaning off the Zofran. Funny how sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else. ty, Ladies!
DS Feb 08: Non-HG
Due date 22July13: HG 7- 22 w
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Re: Bitterness and Resentment

Postby leahmsilverman » Apr 05, 2013 2:18 pm

That's so awesome. Seriously. Perhaps he just needed a bit of perspective. Good for him, and good for you.
DS 12/22/08, hg from 10wks to birth
DS 09/15/10, hg from 6wks to birth
DS due in 08/2013, hg from 4wks to birth
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Certified Lactation Counselor (CLC)
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Re: Bitterness and Resentment

Postby Cin » Apr 05, 2013 5:19 pm

Excellent!
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Mom to Alex, 12 -- NVP
Isaac, 10 -- NVP
Naomi, 8 -- HG
Edward, 4 -- avoided clinical HG through aggressive pre-emptive treatment and pure luck (aka medicated fluffy)
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Re: Bitterness and Resentment

Postby serephimlafey » Apr 11, 2013 1:36 pm

With my ex husband he made me feel like having hg was something i did in purpose to make his life harder. It was always how i inconvenienced him and how taking me to the er got in the way. His family never got it either so i always heard negative things when they were around.
My husband now is super supportive and sympathetic to the point that when i lost weigh so did he. The bad part is he doesn't need to be losing weight. He I'd talking the time to learn as much as he can about hg so he can help me and he had talking over every chore in the house. He is also helping my two sons fall with me being sick and all. They love him and help him out a lot. That's good because he spends more time with them then their dad ever has. My ex maybe makes times for the boys once every few months.
Surprisingly my ex mother in law read the help her Web site and undunderstands whati am going through. She is helping more with my boys and any thing we may need help with. Although she is still sarcastic about things, like saying we should have 10 more kids. At least this time around i have way more support.
Barbara
Mommy to
Eli, Dec 02, first hg baby
Luc, Mar 06, second hg baby
Mairin Jade, Nov 13, 3rd hg baby
And baby #4 due early Aug. Hg from 5 weeks
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Re: Bitterness and Resentment

Postby jahzara » Dec 10, 2013 10:06 pm

Reading through all of the stories of fellow HGers makes me happy that i found this site and now know i am not alone. i imagine there are few HG sufferers that can honestly say they were treated well by others while enduring this condition... it is like HG is an invitation for people to walk all over you and then place you in a bedroom or hospital room and ignore you. I have tremendous bitterness and resentment about how i was treated while i was ill with HG and i know i must let it go at some point since it would be healthier to put it to rest. However, it is fresh in mind the abuse i suffered from my partner and my in laws when i did not have the energy to fight back. My husband was convinced that i was making myself throw up as if i could control it and my mil kept saying well thats not a good sign. I was given a cellphone to call if i needed anything in my bedroom prison and i felt very isolated from everyone ... like dying a slow death. Eventually my family came to visit and they got me the medical attention i needed but after a month in hospital i was returned home only to face a man that did not understand my condition at all. The stress HG caused resulted in physical violence and police involvement and to make a long story short my husbands family blamed me for his demise. My in laws crossed the line of normal and have left me and my children in a state of trauma.They decided they would make me pay and began making false allegations that i was abusing my children to authorities but all were unfounded and about a dozen of my in laws then stormed my house one evening and police intervened again. I wonder if things would have gone differently had i not had Hg because to me it has all but destroyed two of my marriages . Most people have not even heard the term HG before and i only hope that as time goes on Hyperemesis is more recognized and better treated.
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Re: Bitterness and Resentment

Postby ladyhutch » Jun 29, 2014 11:33 am

I have moments where I am so far in denial, I convince myself that my husband is being great about all this. In some ways, he really is. He is pitching in a lot to help with chores and our 3 year old, but the seething resentment leaks through and hurts like hell. This morning on the way to church he said "you haven't done anything for a week. You have to either clean the dining room out or the bedroom. I know you have been sick, but its time to get up and do something. I can't do it all."

I was hurt. On the way home from church, I threw up...again. Our toddler asked "What's mommy doing?" DH rolled his eyes and said, "I don't know." And walked away. I finished retching out in the yard, and came in and cleaned out the dining room. Now I am exhausted and so nauseated I feel like death.

I get it that it is hard on him. I hate that it is hard on him. I feel guilty ALL THE TIME. I understand he is having flashbacks and fear of me with PPD, unable to do anything. I get that he wants out.

I live with all those things, while I vomit and suffer. It is making me lose hope. Its like he thinks I am doing this on purpose, making myself throw up, just so I can be "lazy". He makes snippy "lazy" comments a lot, then when I am hurt tells me he is just joking. It sucks.

The worst part is if he has even a cold, God forbid nausea, he is unbearable, and yet, I do everything I can to make him feel better, fret over him, ignore his nastiness, and try to be understanding. If he were in my shoes right now, he'd be so unbearable we'd have no option but to hospitalize him for our own good. He'd never survive it.

I'm sad today because I feel really alone. I am fortunate that a few ladies at the church have rallied around me...some of them previous HG sufferers, and are offering to cook casseroles and help clean my house. I am so grateful for their blessing on me.
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Re: Bitterness and Resentment

Postby Alpear » Jan 19, 2016 3:06 pm

You took the worst right our of my mouth,

I am so bitter. I am bitter at family for leaving me alone for the weeks my husband was gone and allowing me to turn into a shell of myself. I am bitter at the health care professionals for not treating it better, I am bitter at my body, at happy pregnant women and I am bitter that I had to deliver early and never got to bond with my daughter until she was out of the NICU.

I am on my second HG pregnancy, and although I am better then I was with dd, I still spent the weekend in the hospital. My mom swore up and down that she would be there day or night no matter what If I needed help if we decided to have another, this weekend I texted her and she didn't come. I don't know why I thought this time would be different. I don't know that I will ever forgive the way some people treated me.
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