mistaken for grandma. . . again

Discuss the lasting impact from HG on moms and babies: long term health issues, child development, and other ways HG continues to impact your life.

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mistaken for grandma. . . again

Postby TrinaC » Mar 07, 2015 10:03 pm

Welcome to my pity party! Forgive me, I know this is kind of stupid but I just had to let loose with people who might actually understand.

After my first was born, I was run down and it took me about eighteen months not to be in constant pain, and about three years before I really felt like myself again. I did have a person ask if I were her grandmother, but I sort of laughed it off. After a while I even began to turn the occasional head again. Now I'm ten months out from the birth of number two, and finally strong enough to regularly take the girls out to parks and playgrounds... and people there keep assuming I'm the grandma, and I can't even blame them because I look like cat food!

At least I'm no longer getting the looks of shock and pity when I answer my own door. Last late summer I had a charity canvasser ask me "Are you okay?!" Ouch, my vanity!

It's hard enough to feel tired, to have hands that are still often too weak to unsnap the baby's car seat, to have food aversions and sore teeth, to be all but celibate because we're both so scared of another pregnancy. It's more than hard enough that we have to limit our family size when obviously I'm still fertile and we love being parents. Why do I have to be haggard and grey-faced on top of everything else?

Anyway, sorry, I realize how silly and immature it is. I'm lucky to have my healthy little ones, and that my husband and I still love each other after what we had to go through (twice, thanks baby longing) and I even got really good medical care. I know I just need to get my head on straight. Comparison is the enemy of happiness. Comparing myself to my healthy self, to healthy new mothers, to people with worse problems than mine - it all makes me mad and sad. What happened to my awesome ability to live from day to day, to take things as they are, that got me through my losses and HG pregnancies?
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