unsupportive mother

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unsupportive mother

Postby RebeccaM » Jun 10, 2004 1:45 am

I love my Mom, but she is so unsupportive about how sick I am when I'm pregnant.

Some back story: The other day I realized my uncle's ex-wife had bad HG, and this was the first time I had realized it. It was several years ago, before I had it and knew what it was. I remember my uncle telling me about how sick she was and how she had to have IV hydration. At the time I didn't understand why she was so sick. Of course, now I do. I had completely forgotten about her situation until the other day when I realized she must've had HG! (their divorced now, but I almost wish they weren't so I could go give her a big hug and tell her I know EXACTLY what she went through).

So I was over at my mom's house the other day and brought it up to her saying "She had HG, just like me!" Well my mom looked at my like she had know idea what HG is. I swear I had told her about it while I was pregnant, but to be honest, I knew very little about HG til my third trimester when I found the Help HER website and HuGS forum, so maybe I really never explained it to her (she was never very understanding about how sick I was, and I know for a fact that she just thought I was weak).

So I give her a quick three sentence explanation of what it is. Her response was: "They have a name for everything these days!"...as if it was just regular morning sickness but they decided to come up with a new name for it! Then she just there with a smug look on her face while I tried to explain that it is NOT just some made up thing.

I know she just thinks I'm being a hypochondriac or something. It's sooooooooo aggravating! Before I was pg she told me how sick and miserable she was when she was pg...she threw up a total of TWO times during each pregnancy...What?!? If that's awful, then what's HG? Hell?!? :evil:

Okay...my vent is done. Thanks for listening. :) I know it was long.
Rebecca
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Mom to:
Tierra Ashlee 9/15/03
Eli Spencer 7/16/05
Haylee Belle 3/4/09
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Postby Chedasha » Jun 10, 2004 8:24 am

how annoying for you Rebecca! My sister was lucky in once I found out what she had we soon had everyone in our families minds focussed on what she actually did have. I must admit before I found out about HG I just thought it was morning sickness what everyone had and she had to get through it :oops:

I think you need to just tell your mum you have been diagnosed with HG which requires you to have ongoing hydration, hospitilisations and that the condition is that serious and that hard that you have to take the same medication that cancer patients have. If morning sickness is mentioned go "pfffff morning sickness and this are not even related"

Kat
DD Estella Dawn 06/06/2011
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Postby MamaLily » Jun 10, 2004 3:01 pm

Rebecca -

I know you've mentioned before that your mom didn't really understand how sick you were...I'm really sorry. You deserve better support!



Kat -

"pfffff morning sickness and this are not even related"

I've never heard this put so well! I'll have to use this line in the future. Thanks!
"The little reed, bending to the force of the wind, soon stood upright again when the storm had passed over." - Aesop
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Postby jenniz » Jun 13, 2004 11:44 pm

Rebecca,

I'm sorry your mom is like this. It sure does make an already difficult situation even harder. My mom often says things like "everyone gets a little sick when they're pregnant" and because I am pregnant, puking and hormona as hell :evil: I usually jump down her throat before she gets around to continuing "but I have never seen anyone get like you get"... LOL...and, my mom worries a lot. She and my dad live with us and it is hard on her to see me so ill.

It sure makes it harder to have family with this attitude. My sister is one of the "I know EXACTLY what you're going through..." women (and she doesn't have a clue...ugh!) but it sure does make it nice to have the family support. I hope you have support elsewhere...and if it is hard to come by...KEEP COMING HERE! Hugs!
________
HAWAII DISPENSARIES
Last edited by jenniz on Mar 07, 2011 9:30 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby RebeccaM » Jun 14, 2004 12:00 am

Thanks Jenni,

My family is GENERALLY supportive, but I don't think they really understand how sick I was. Only my husband really understands.
This forum will be my lifeline once dh and I start ttc in September (well...that's the plan for now anyhow :? )

I just wanted to tell you, in one of your posts you compared you and your dh to Dharma and Greg. Well now every time I read one of your posts, I picture you as Dharma :D , but with a pregnant belly. Kind of funny. I just thought I'd let you know. That show comes on late here every night (like around midnight) and I end up watching it a lot when my husband is at work (he's a firefighter so he's gone a lot at nights) because I hate being home alone so late and the t.v. keeps me company (that makes me sound really lame, but it's true). So I watch Dharma and Greg and I think they are such a cute couple. Kind of a silly show, but it makes me laugh, and it's better than M*A*S*H, which is my other option.
Rebecca
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Mom to:
Tierra Ashlee 9/15/03
Eli Spencer 7/16/05
Haylee Belle 3/4/09
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re: unsupportive mom

Postby beachgirl » Jun 24, 2004 1:05 pm

same mom issues as others. you have my sympathy
Last edited by beachgirl on Aug 24, 2004 8:05 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby RebeccaM » Jun 25, 2004 2:20 pm

Lauri,

I read your other "vent" post also. I'm so sorry you haven't been able to have a good relationship with your mother. I can't believe how insensitive she was at the loss of your baby!

Fortunately my mother is very supportive in other aspects of my life. But when it comes to HG she just doesn't understand.

Best of luck with your pregnancy.
Rebecca
-----------
Mom to:
Tierra Ashlee 9/15/03
Eli Spencer 7/16/05
Haylee Belle 3/4/09
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Forgot the crackers...that's my problem!!!

Postby nissi » Aug 18, 2004 11:35 am

Through my HG, I've had countless people and nurses ask me the "have you tried crackers?" question. Oh, I guess I must be an idiot...of course I'm so sick simply because I didn't eat my crackers!!! Yeah right!!! My mom & sister both are HG survivors and my mother was ready to make me a t-shirt that said "I ate my crackers and STILL threw them up, OK?" Despite complete understanding from my mom, there are way too many idiots in and out of the medical fields that think crackers are it. I wish it was that simple to cracker away the HG. LOL.
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Postby lawbyrd » Sep 24, 2004 3:26 pm

My mom thinks that I just have a little morning sickness. That was the case with both of my prior pregnancies. Even when I was in the hospital, she acted like nothing was wrong. I also had premature rupture of the membranes/preterm labor, and after I was put on bedrest she told me it was "too hard" to help me with my other toddler. After both my sisters had babies, she babysat both of them. We had all been renting a large house together, and when one of my sisters wanted her boyfriend to move in, my mother pressured my dad to kick us out.

Whenever my husband and I look back, we can't believe we made it through that period, and Josiah made it through, even though the docs said he wouldn't.

I got tired of my mom telling me to eat crackers the other night, and I got a little short with her. I told her I'd thrown up 60 times that day. I was explaining my Zofran/Unisom/B6 protocol, and she told me I should ask the Dr. for phenergan. Like I hadn't tried phenergan countless time with both my last pgs, with little relief, inability to function and arms and feet fulls of burned out veins to show for it!

Sorry, reading these vents reminds me of all my own vents. It's so nice to have a place full of people who understand.

I am so thankful for y'all!
HG third time around!
Mom to Joey age 5 & Josiah age 3
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