who wants to help pull mil out of my butt?

[IslandDreamer]

Okay, mil has know about baby for less than a week, and she is driving me nuts. I called her house to find out when my dh was heading home from his visit and got the onslaught of VERY unhelpful comments such as...like ten straight minutes of crackering...remember, this is one phone call:

*maybe you should exercise more and would feel better (I can't do anything requiring much effort or I puke);
*can't the doc give you something for the nausea (I'm on about 10 meds);
*what prenatals are you taking (none, they make me puke);
*what about the baby? (yes, it's my mission to hurt my child by not taking prenatals because they make me SICK);
*what about cousin's graduation party (what about it? can't do anything so can't go);
*have you talked to your doctor about this (HUH?);
*why don't you drive here and let me take care of you (I can't do anything, so driving 4 hours sounds like a great idea);
*maybe you should go online and find some information ("MIL, I'm a moderator at a hyperemesis forum...I probably know more than my doctor.");
*maybe you can find some other girls to talk to online (obviously not paying any attention to anything I'm saying);
*and my favorite**** It will all be worth the reward (what f'in reward. my last baby died...but then I can't say that since dh refuses to cause her grief with sharing Hope...thus, causing me this nightmare comment).

And don't even get me started on how she told me I didn't have to decorate "much" for Christmas or worry about the holidays or have Thanksgiving or decorate and cook for her for Christmas....hello, not thinking that far since I don't want to build up ANY excitement in case Five leaves like the others. Control freak or what? So it looks like EVERYONE is at my house (I pulled the phone away from my ear for a while, so I'm not sure how long EVERYone is stay ) for the holidays. Hello, I've not invited anyone...IT'S MAY!

I think I said "I can't do anything" about 12 times. Then I asked for dh AGAIN, and she got him, finally. I immediately and undelicately said to him, "Will you get your mother out of my ass?" He said, "good to talk to you too." So I said, being out of my mind pissed by then, "F off." And I hung up. (Nice girl, aren't I?)

[IslandDreamer]

Spoke with dh...he called on the way home. He's very sorry mil said all that and had no idea she had...didn't hear the conversation. In fact, he spoke with her yesterday about what NOT to ever say to me, and she seems to have said every single thing he said not to say. (In her defense, she has an untreated case of OCD, I'm certain, and the list was probably too much temptation.)

So dh ended up apologizing and completely understands why I said what I said to him on the phone. Yeah.

[Beth B]

I'm glad he apologized - if only your MIL would, right? That must be really hard to not be able to say anything about Hope to her - I'm so sorry her comments hurt you!!!

[NutinStaysDown]

Suzanne,
You crack(er) me up!!! I enjoy reading your postings so much!

As for your mil with OCD...print off (between crying and dying) everything you can find that would help enlighten her. Organize them alphabetically by author last name or website. Of course let her know that. Color code them also, for her easy reference. Three hole punch them, use tabs, and put them in a binder.
Topics may include:
1. PUKING
2. VOMITING
3. RETCHING
4. ZOFRAN
5. CONSTIPATION
6. COMPLICATIONS
7. RISKS
8. WHAT NOT TO SAY TO A HGer
9. THROWING UP
Anyway, you get the idea. Then proceed to write her a very __________ (fill in the blank) letter, explaining to her that there is no way on God's green earth you are having anyone to your house for the Holidays. Better yet, have your dh write the letter. She may listen to him. Send it to her overnight post. So she understands the urgency.

(I was a civil engineer before I quit to stay home with my HG...I mean kids. If you know engineers, we pride ourselves on our organization skills.)

Okay I am totally joking about all of that. Good luck with her. I was able to school my mil this 3rd pg, only because she came to take care of me and the kids while my dh was gone for 3 weeks. Okay, I didn't really get through to her, she is not a person who thinks with complexity, but she at least saw with her own eyes the week's worth of dishes that would build up between her visits.

I'll pray for your little ones waiting for you above, I know that you miss them very much.

[HGx3]

Oh Suzanne, I am so sorry. I know you are miserable and frustrated, because your last comment to dh is out of character for you. We have all said things in the heart of hg that are not typical of our mormal behavior, I am sure he understands that.

Now, if you had only said it to you MIL.......LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hang in there.

[dwtegli]

Suzanne, so sorry. I would gladly help pull her out of your butt if I could. Now wouldn't that be an interesting picture (LOL)?

[IslandDreamer]

I can see it. You get the left foot of mil and Lisa takes the right foot and you both use one of my butt cheeks to steady yourself as you yank. Just like labor and delivery with Chris....