Crackered by my MIL

Some people say the worst things . . .

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Crackered by my MIL

Postby Jocelyn » May 03, 2013 2:31 am

Okay, I just have to release a bit of built-up frustration.

My husband and I have been living with my in-laws for the last eight months, saving up money while my husband works. We have a toddler (she's almost one and a half) and I stay at home with her. I'm almost 14 weeks pregnant right now, and have been dealing with constant sickness since week 4 (this is my second HG pregnancy). I've been on Zofran since then, and it's helping, but I still can't do much other than sit/lie down on the couch or floor and watch my daughter all day. Before I got sick, I was able to clean up after her messes pretty well everyday before everyone got home from work, but it's been a lot harder since I've been sick and a lot of the time I can barely clean at all. I do what I can, but I can't do much. I've stopped doing dishes entirely, and I was doing them for the whole household before. My husband is amazing and has been doing everything I can't.

First of all, I've been getting the impression for the whole last two months that my MIL thinks that I'm just being lazy and that I should just "suck it up." She's mentioned numerous times that she "felt sick" during her pregnancies and still had to watch all of her kids with no help from her husband. Every time she tells me this I get the impression that she's telling me that I'm just being weak (mentally) and could (and should) be doing more. Last week she said, "It must be hard for (my husband) - it's like he's taking care of two kids!" She did actually come up and apologize to me a little after that, saying that her remarks probably came off as insensitive.

Then this afternoon I was sitting in the kitchen with my husband, and we were talking about how hopefully I would start feeling better soon, when she was like, "You probably have, but have you tried -" My husband cut her off, and was like "Don't mention crackers!" (He knows I hate when people talk about crackers as a cure-all, since they do nothing for me and I actually have an aversion to them this pregnancy.) And my MIL clammed up, and then was like - "Well, that's what I was going to say. When I was sick, when I woke up in the morning I would eat a cracker before I got out of bed (even if I didn't feel like it) and it would help me." To which I responded, "Yeah, I tried that in my last pregnancy for several weeks. I would always throw up the crackers 15 minutes later. And again an hour after that."

Anyway, sorry this is long. I just have some built-up frustration right now. I feel like I've tried explaining over and over to my in-laws about how this isn't regular morning sickness, and my FIL seems to get it, but my MIL just doesn't. Agggh. Sorry. Rant over.
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Re: Crackered by my MIL

Postby leahmsilverman » May 03, 2013 5:53 pm

Urgh, that is so frustrating!! I can't imagine having to live under a roof with someone who has that attitude. At least you have a good husband who stands up for you! Maybe he could pull your MIL aside and have a private talk with her about her attitude. Do you think he would do that?
DS 12/22/08, hg from 10wks to birth
DS 09/15/10, hg from 6wks to birth
DS due in 08/2013, hg from 4wks to birth

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Re: Crackered by my MIL

Postby eliana1300 » May 04, 2013 7:20 pm

Some people just never get it. I have gotten the "I ate a cracker before I got out of bed, and it helped so much" speech too, and basically what I told them is that only works if you wake up in bed and not on the bathroom floor, already puking. I really get annoyed when people think we are on these really heavy-duty, potent medications because we haven't tried every other cure-all known to morning sickness! If those things worked, we totally would have stopped with them, and not gone on to these meds, but since the meds are the only things that help, well, you do what you need to!

Sorry you have to deal with that, especially under the same roof! We were displaced from Hurricane Sandy in Oct. for four months, but we didn't have to live with anyone else.
1st pg = HG 8 weeks to c-section delivery due to breech presentation--D&C at 4 months PP for retained placenta
2nd pg = HG from 6 weeks up to 7 months--scheduled c-section
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Re: Crackered by my MIL

Postby amyosborne22 » Jun 06, 2013 5:59 pm

There is no way on earth that the majority of non HG(ers) will ever beable to understand what we are going through. Ive gotten to the point that I try my hardest to avoid any type of conversation about my situation to persons that "just don't get it." I can imagine how you feel with your if we dont feel bad if we already dont feel like we are failing to maintain our "roles." Hang in there and try not to take it personally. There is absoulutely nothing you can do about the "ignorance" anyway.
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Re: Crackered by my MIL

Postby VerdaKay » Oct 14, 2013 12:38 pm

I get the whole cracker thing crackers have never helped i hate it when nurses or doctors tell me to just eat some crackers :oops: but i have found that dry cheerios actually help unlike crackers I don't know if it would help you but it helped alot with my second HG pregnancy and is helping with my third HG pregnancy as well
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