its been 2 months since my termination. Every week I keep thinking I should of been x amount of weeks along by now. (16 right now).
I am so sad and angry from my descision. I know I was getting good care. I was on 24 hour hydration, getting meds, had an amazing Dr, and I know it was me who couldnt deal with it. I guess that what makes me so angry. I feel like I cared more about myself than a baby. This past pregnancy was so differnet than my 1st, in the sense that my 1st time I had so much hope it would get better... and felt so much more connected to the baby. This time I felt so disconnected and my hope, well, it wasnt good, since last time I had HG until I delievered.
Some days are easier than others, but today is bad. I really want another baby, and I am trying to decide if we will try again in this next year. All I know is that I cant terminate another pregnancy. It hurts WAY more than the pain of enduring HG. At least with HG you get a beautiful baby.... this way you get heartache and grief and a painful hole in your heart.