All clear

[allym]

Hi Everyone,

I havn't posted for awhile but I have been keeping up with everything. My husband just went for his final check after his vasectomy and it looks like we officially can no longer have babies. I am glad, but a little sad...does that make sense? I no longer have to worry about hg, but I also will never have the excitement of taking a pg test and seeing those two lines. I never wanted more than 3 kids and I did get the girl I always wanted on the third try but it would have been nice to give her a sister. It is so weird, I know my family is complete, but I am feeling a little down about moving out of that phase of my life. I'm not liking these mixed emotions. I know it will pass, but I just wanted to share. Anyone else feel the same way?

Alexandra

[krdoty]

I feel the same way about the decision that this pregnancy will be my last. I'm half hoping for a C-section because then I could get my tubes tied at the same time. I'm afraid if I wait that I won't do it. I cried when I told the OB to put it in my chart.

[Proudmama]

I am right there with you. My DH had his snip a few weeks ago. I have moments of complete saddness (tears and all) but I know it was for the best. I even told DH the other day that since we have a few more weeks of "potent production" we could have another baby. I had no idea that he could be so loud when yelling NO . I played it up like I was just kidding but part of me was not. I am so happy with my two beautiful children. I do not really want any more but to have the option no longer available is sad. I even get scared at the thought of ever going through that again but I still get upset.

I am glad that someone else feels the same way. I do not feel as alone now. Thank you for your post.

[BrandiJK]

I, too, understand. My dh had his snip-snip. I was beyond ready. I am very clear that I do not want any more children nor do I want to survive HG again. 3 is enough. I love my girls.
All that said, I too mourned the loss of that first postitive test and the few weeks of fluffy hope. I'm also shocked, but admit to, the fact I'll miss the excitment before labor, the last long weeks of the third tri, getting ready to meet this little one and reume life and health again. I'll even miss labor itself, odd as that sounds. The excitment of it all. (I know, it doesn't feel like excitement at the time)
I think, mostly though, it is moving into the next phase of my life that is really effecting me. I have defined my life for so long as mom to little ones. That is going to change. Eventually all my kids will be older, and no more will come. What will happen then?

I have had sadness and anxioty, but over all...I must say...I have no regret. In fact, it feels so good to not have to worry about getting pg again. And I can enjoy my kids for what they are. There is somethign so special about knowing Hailey will always be my youngest

[PamelaRose]

Hooray for the all-clear!

I do understand that sadness. I never had any second thoughts whatsoever about having my tubal ligation, and between HG and then colic there's absolutely NO rosy glow left regarding new babies for me, but I'm still so BITTER about being forced to make a decision. Yes, it was my choice entirely and there were other options, but I have friends who can stay on birth control forever and be ok with the notion of an "oops" baby. I can't live with that fear; some days the thought of the .1% TL failure rate is enough to scare me to death. When my fluffy best friend had a tubal ligation after her last baby because she "just couldn't handle another pregnancy--all the worry," I nearly strangled her. How rude to use my reason! LOL It just bugs me that fluffies can be so flippant about a decision that was a matter of life and death for me. That's my main cause of wistfullness--not more babies, but HG and me.

[nomore]

Pamela- I think you spoke the words right out of my head.

I do find myself more and more coming to terms with the finality of it all. No, I dont want anymore kids.... but, I would of really liked it to be all my choice, instead of being forced to have to choose this.

Somedays I think it would be nice to have another.... and otehrs I think NO WAY! I feel done, but it doesnt mean there isnt some degree of sadness.

[PamelaRose]

Sorry to crawl inside your head, Robin. I hate when that happens!

[allym]

Glad I'm not alone in my mixed feelings. I so know what you mean Pamela about the failure rate. There is a 1 in 3000 chance of a pregnancy even if a man has had a successful vasectomy. I joke to my husband that knowing us we will be that one . I told him for the first little bit we can only do the deed outside of the ovulation window. It scares me half to death. If I had my way he would be wearing 2 condoms with spermicide and i would be on the pill and have an IUD , but since the whole point of having the vasectomy is to avoid all that I will just have to trust in God that He has no more babies planned for us. Take care.