What is wrong with me?

[Proudmama]

I cannot help but want another baby. I cannot believe that I am saying that. DH has had the big V but I still have the longing for one more child . I know what the Doctor said, I know what I said, I know that my body can handle, but yet, I am so sad. DS looked at me today and actually said, "Mommy, I want another baby" . I just feel so sad. I am very blessed to have my two beautiful babies but I just have a strange longing for one more.

I am just so ANGRY at HG and what it has taken from me.

Sorry, I am just needing to get this off of my chest. My DH does not understand and neither does my family. They thought I was crazy to have two but I can not every image life any other way. I would go through all of the HG again for my babies.

Am I alone here? Anyone else feel this way? I just need to get this out to you ladies.

Thanks for listening.

[mrsbigdog]

I think your feelings are very normal. I had always wanted three but stopped at two because of HG as well as other concerns. Had we not had our little surprise recently we would have only had two. I think almost all mom's want to have more - it's a natural thing but having the decision stolen from us by HG makes it even harder to deal with.

The pain of HG just never seems to end.


Donna

[bibliojo]

Yup, that's EXACTLY me.

Huge hugs to you Jaime. I wish you peace and contentment.

Joanna

[Proudmama]

Thank you ladies. I cannot say that I feel better about the situation but I do feel a bit more relaxed knowing that I am not alone. Some days, I hope for that little surprise .

[teddi]

To quote a Gwen Steffani lyric "sometimes I wish for a "mistake"

I have talked around the idea of me having more kids- no one in the family has expressed any umm... enthusiastic support. Seems ok for others to have had 3 or 4 pregnancies and like 4 kids... but not me.

And there's good reasons to really be hesitant for me (like you I had pre-E at the end in conjunction with other problems). I'm so sorry for the heartache Jamie. My son wants to give him a brother.

I was kinda daydreaming one day and I thought, how nice to have another boy and give Robert a brother. And then I thought, but I missed out so much on my girls' first 6 months and I'd love to hold a little girl too. And my CRAZY! brain thought- oh well maybe you'd have boy/girl twins Umm BAD idea I know!

I hope the heartache eases for you. Or maybe there is another baby (adopted, other?) ?

I find myself feeling LESS baby lust as the girls have gotten older. Each stage we left behind brought bittersweetness to it. Last year at Christmas was a really tough time. My girls weren't in the newborn layette anymore. Ugh, heartbreaking to kiss that newness goodbye!

[Proudmama]

Thank you so much for your replies. Reading your posts make me want to cry. Just knowing that my feelings are not me being selfish, well, it is really comforting.

Thank you all

[BethersinMN]

I am right there with you and that's why were going through it again in the future. I know I will get through it with a better dr.

Many hugs with whatever you decide....

Bethers

[nomore]

Jamie,

I sometimes let myself think about what if..... the desire could be found, if I let it. But, I know we cant do pregnancy again... and well DH already had his V. I cant deal with HG, the Pre-e, the emotional toll... the physical toll... the finacanical toll.

So, sometimes when I get sad about how big Katie is getting I tell myself we can always consider adoption someday.... (so at least I feel like a little door is still open). And, it makes me feel less sad about things being so permanent.

Im hoping you find peace.

And, I just had to add that even though I dont want the big V to ever fail.... I always say if God has other plans.... (I can dream of that fluffy pregnancy right???)