It is about to be final!!!!!!!

Discuss the triumph or heartache of not having more children, and the struggle to make that decision.

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It is about to be final!!!!!!!

Postby HGx3 » Jan 11, 2005 3:22 pm

Well, during my last hg pg, I KNEW beyond a shadow of a doubt that i never wanted to experience the horror of hg ever again. I signed the paperwork to have my tubes tied MONTHS before I delivered. I was scheduled to have the tubal at 6 weeks pp to look at some unresolved issues from a previous surgery.
Well, as many of you know, that tubal has never taken place. At 2 weeks pp I had to have emergency surgery for my gallbladder, then 3 weeks after that I developed pancreatitus...blah blah blah. I was left feeling so weak, that I was not at all prepared to undergo anything else.

SO, dh scheduled a vasectomy. Well, it is scheduled for friday,,Jan 14th. And though I KNOW that I AM DONE, it is still kinda sad that we are actually making the decision permenant. I mean....I am positive that I do not want to ever go thru that level of hg ever again, and I am so satisfied with 3 wonderful children, but I still jokingly said to him"are we sure we dont want anymore..." WHAT THE HELL?????????????????????? I MUST be insane. Just needed to share this. As the day approaches, I am feeling somewhat sad, but relieved as well.
Huge Hugs,
HG Mom to:
Matthew, 2001
Lauryn, 2002

Devoted to You
Posts: 1485
Joined: May 30, 2004 11:30 pm
Location: Jackson, MS

Postby 3kids » Jan 12, 2005 8:30 am

It is so bittersweet, isn't it.

I have a problem that my husband had a vasectomy in a previous relationship (he's older than me) and had it reversed for me. I just don't feel I can ask him to do it again, plus I'm sure they probably wouldn't as it will probably be risky now to do a 3rd surgery.

I had DVT in my previous pregnancy, so I now cannot use any hormonal birth control. I tried the POP, but I did not do well on it at all.

Without the HG I'm sure I would want a third child, almost positive, but I just can't do it. Information in the UK was very poor when I was pg with Jack and I was just led to believe the old "all pg's are different, you won't get sick again", but now obviously I know different. Going through it again is just soooo hard and I am 99% sure I can't do it again. I would be so scared of getting pg by accident so I'm considering what to do when this baby is born.

I think your feelings are due to the permanancy of it all. Even though it is what you want, there must still be a part that feels sad because the choice will be taken away from you in the future. I think that is what is going to hit me in making a decision down the line, additionally because I suppose I would want another child. This HG certainly is a terrible thing to suffer and people don't understand it doesn't just end when the baby comes when you have to make decisions like this. I'm thinking I would need to get a tubal ligation, but have lived with the heartache of my husband's vasectomy and it took a long time and a lot of hardship to get where we are. Stupid things cross my mind like what if god forbid anything happened to him, or us. I'm still young (ish!), what if I meet someone who wants kids, what if I change my mind. Ugh.

I'll be thinking of you. Hopefully when the day comes and goes, the underlying sadness you have will be replaced eventually with relief over not having to face this again.
Kelly, 30

3 m/c's

Jack, 3. HG 10w-birth
Katie, 2. HG 7w-birth
Ben, 7.5mo. HG 6w-birth

Been There Done That
Posts: 231
Joined: Dec 10, 2004 10:12 am
Location: England

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