Where to even start?

[KSmith]

I posted this question in the third tri folder about a week or so ago, but its something that has really been weighing on me.

When did you/can you feel like you can even start to make the decision about another baby? I haven't even delivered my first baby and already feel the pressure (from others and myself) to start thinking about more babies.

My DH came to me with two great children, so we already have a 13 yr old daughter and 6 year old son, in addition to our new little girl who will arrive soon. He tells me that he doesn't want to be an "old man" and still having babies (he'll be 35 next month).

I am exstatic to be a mom, but HG has really taken a toll on me, I'm down 33 lbs, have done the whole gamut of meds, PICC, TPN, etc. and still throw up every single solid food I eat . . . and it seems like it gets worse with 2nd babies not better.

Any advice at all on how to rationalize the thoughts???

[tatteredtoo]

The only way I would rationalize the thoughts for you in your current state is NOT to think about it. Simply tell yourself that you'll think about it once you are prepared to question future children rather than while you are still baking your first one! You are still in the midst of an HG pregnancy and you DON'T need to worry about (possibly) future babies right now! If people ask, you can simply tell them that you are more concerned for this child than what they think you should do years down the road. You don't need to make their concerns any of yours at this time.

Unless you intend to completely commit and get a tubal during a Csection, or immediately after having your baby, there is really no need to hasten these thoughts. It's a VERY hard decision and it took me a horrible experience with a third pregnancy to figure out that more biological children is not doable for us, but there are many people who would rather keep the option to have future children open.

Take a breather and relax... you don't need to write anything in stone anytime soon. Besides, once you have had your precious little girl, you will be able to recover and think clearly about all of the pros and cons about a second HG pregnancy instead of irrationally during your first one!

[Mikey&Bree'sMama(src)]

The thought I remember having when I was pregnant with Michael was "how many more times can I do this?" I went into my current pregnancy with some Zofran and naive hopes that I'd be one of those lucky people who doesn't have HG the second time. This was a BIG mistake.

Now that I've had my Reglan pump and gotten rid of it and started feeling kinda fluffy, I'll admit the thought has entered my head: could I do it again? Do I *WANT* another baby?

I agree with Tina that unless you are going to do something permanent, there's no need to make a decision while you're under the effects of pregnancy hormones and HG. For me, I'm pretty sure that once this baby is born, I'll be happy with my family and it'll be enough. For you? Who knows! You can only find out once you get through this pregnancy and get to know your baby!

[aaronsmommy]

I don't think you should make any decisions until at least a YEAR after having the baby.

During my first pg I spent the whole time talking about how I was NEVER having another. I lost that baby and spent the next pg thinking there was no way I could do it again, but saying nothing because I knew there was a chance I would change my mind. Then, I spent the year after he was born longing to have another. I'm still not ready to make anything permanent, but I try to accept more and more that I won't have another.

. . . so 4 years later and I still manage to wonder sometimes.

[PamelaRose]

Don't even think about it while you're still getting through this pregnancy. When it's over and you're holding your little one, then you can weigh the risks and rewards of repeat HG and another child vs. stable health and a smaller family. Some women know they'll do it again and others know they absolutely can't; sometimes the baby makes you realize you need to do it again, and sometimes it makes you realize how complete you already are. It's different for everyone and impossible to predict with certainty beforehand, so don't even try. Give yourself time to enjoy your little one before thinking about the next little one!