The joys of one

Discuss the triumph or heartache of not having more children, and the struggle to make that decision.

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The joys of one

Postby JennyRob » Mar 01, 2005 2:06 am

I'm older (42 now, with boy who will be 3 on 3/16/2005), and had gestational diabetes, pregnancy-induced hypertension (eclampsia), and severe, debilitating depression as well as HG. Whole experience was nightmarish, and lasted a year and 7 months.

Although I would love another child, we won't have one. It was too hard on me, my partner, and my parents. Many of the friends I've made with children my son's age have had their second child, and it's hard to see them with their babies. I hold them as much as I can!

It's hard to remember that my experience of pregnancy and the first year was *nothing* like theirs. My body is different.

Although I do believe that I could receive better medical care with another pregnancy and not have such a nightmarish experience, I'm trying to get beyond feeling cheated and sad.

I'm staying open to the joys of having an only child. He's a precious gift, and I can devote as much attention to him as he needs.

I know there are a lot of people on the forum with a lot of children, but I wanted to add my voice as someone who is learning acceptance and appreciation of one child.

Jenny
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bad pg

Postby Hollie » Mar 12, 2005 3:34 pm

I know how it feels to have a bad pg. I have been sick since i was 6 weeks, now i'm 21 weeks. I have been in the hospital 3 times. This is my first pregnacey and well be my last. The pregnacey has stoped my stomach from digesting, I also have liver problem and my gulbladder is faliling. I've had to drop out of school and I can't work. I have to stay at home hucked up to an IV. I'm only 21, but i feel just being able to have one kid and be this sick is a blessing.


Hollie
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Postby Kschwintz » Mar 13, 2005 11:40 pm

Jenny,

Thank you for your post. I too, had HG coupled with preeclampsia and Hellp syndrome. STILL (2 yrs later) have high blood pressure and kidney damage from my pregnancy... I am slowly getting used to fact that Ainsley will be an only child.

I also had a horrible first year. Ainsley had colic for 18 hours a day for 10 months, plus reflux and a 3 heart defects. It was so overwhelming, not to mention that I was not near back to being myself and still in shock over almost dying, not being able to breastfeed, etc...

I think the hardest part is that Ainsley is growing so fast. I wish we could just push pause for a minute!!!

Take care!!
Kim
*Ainsley (11-26-02) born at 36 weeks Severe HG, Preeclampsia and HELLP Syndrome
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Postby JennyRob » Mar 14, 2005 12:02 am

My BP was also chronically high (135/96), but not high enough for people to freak out.

This last year I tried a low salt diet, but it didn't shave off more than a few points. So, I went on blood pressure medication. It's wonderful! No side-effects, just beautiful 110/76 blood pressure. And, I can eat all the salty foods I want. I tried one other that made me cough, but this one (Cozaar) is terrific for me.

My dad has high blood pressure, and neither one of us is overweight (although I'd like to shed 10 lbs). He's a long-distance runner, and has been since the 60's. So, it's a congenital thing, probably.

My son is also growing up too fast. The first year crawled by, but now the time seems to fly.

Thanks for sharing,
Jenny
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