Moved here from the Trying to Conceive folder

[kmaw]

Well my husband and I have made an extremely hard decision. We have been pondering for the last few days since AF arrived and I wasnt pregnant. We have been trying for a few months because that is what we thought we wanted to do. But my husband admitted to me 2 days ago that he definately doesnt want any more children. Our kids are nearly 6 and nearly 4. After 1 ectopic and 1 termination (which was my last pregnancy about 1 1/2 years ago. That was the worst time in my whole life. I prayed to god for a miscarriage. But instead I ended it myself. I did it for a reason. Being so sick wishing your life away and your babies life away means something doesnt it. It means that you are just not meant to have another baby. HG is a nightmare and I just cant go through it again. I cant put my husband through it or my 2 beautiful children that god has already blessed me with. I am lucky considering I was told I may never have children at all because of fertility issues with me. I AM TRULY TRULY BLESSED. THANKYOU GOD. My husband said our relationship probably wouldnt be able to go through another HG pregnancy. With my daughter I turned into the devil. It was aweful for him and for me. We have an amazing relationship. We are sole mates, best friends and lovers all in one. But sometimes even the best of relationships cant get through HG. I know ours would suffer horribly. My husband was sooooooo heart broken when I ended the last pregnancy that he swore he would never let me go through that again. Nor he wanted to go through that ever again. I am scared that if I did fall pregnant I would do it again. I was dead against abortion until HG. I know all of you in this folder know exactly how I feel. I thank everyone for their support and I am wishing everyone else happiness and contentment. I hope I will have it to. Thats all I wish for at the moment. Whilst I am writing this I am still having second thoughts. But I have to finally realise that I AM TRULY BLESSED ALREADY. God bless all you women who have suffered HG. Kell.

[nataliesmom]

I can only imagine how difficult this decision was for you and your husband.

[bethien]

Kell, it must have been an extremely hard decision. I understand how you feel not wanting to put your family through HG again. It takes its toll on families. I wish no one had to experience HG.

[bibliojo]

Kell...I'm following you from folder to folder here - lol.

What a tremendously hard decision, but I think you've been very realistic and wise in how you've choosen. Doesn't make the decision any easier though I know. We're here to support you and help you through no more kids. I wish you contentment and peace.

[sarahkate]

How incredibly difficult for you... and I agree you have such wisdom and grace in it. I wish HG hadn't forced you into it. I hope that the blessings of having 2 just flow over and over you.

Sarah x

[Xphile_mo]

You are an incredibly brave woman and I hope you can be at peace with your decision. You have suffered enough without the guilt that some women feel at choosing not to have another pregnancy when HG muscles in on the equation. HG truly is a horrendous condition ... in so many ways.

I think you deserve a medal of courage x x x