Does the fear ever go?

[HanJ]

After 2 HG children, we are totally done, but our contraception options at this stage are condoms or abstinence (yeah right!), and even though we are SO extremely careful, I am so petrified of getting pregnant again. Dr wont do DH a vasectomy (our agreed permanent option) for at least 2 years due to his age - he's 26, WTF? and us having "only" 2 kids. But how do I live with this horrible fear that I might get pregnant again? Do you ever get over it?

Help!?

[aaronsmommy]

No, I don't think I'd ever be comfortable with either of those methods!

Why are those your only options? You should be able to come up with something better.

[HanJ]

All the options I can think of...
pills, depo, anything hormonal = sends me loopy/depressed/etc.
IUD = ethical issues.
diaphram, etc = too much thinking involved.

I cope with condoms, but only because its the only way it can happen at the moment. any other options I haven't covered... I'm sure there are, just a bit fuzzy, its past midnight here at teh moment...

[aaronsmommy]

Even though you have had problems with some of them, you probably shouldn't write off all of the hormonal methods if you haven't tried them all. There are a couple that have a lot lower hormone levels and less side effects. Have you tried the Nuva-Ring, or Implanon? There are also some pills with different kinds of progesterone that are supposed to do better for mood problems.

If you know you are done, and your husband doesn't, why can't you get the surgery?

We used condoms for about a year a long time ago, but that was before I knew about hg. It made me nervous even then too, but we were just too young to care so much then. Now, it would probably keep me from being able to enjoy what I was doing.

I know there are some people who get comfortable with them.

[mandy]

Hannah,

We are very similar to you - we have two hg kids and were refused the vas when we asked when dh was 29. Dr said he was too young - they like men to be over 35 here (UK).
Due to problems with depression with hormones I too find the pill extremely hard to cope with, it totally messes me up. We do use just condoms. I am really comfortable with this now. It probably took a year or so before I relaxed about it.
We are about to ask for the vas again. Then things will be final. Condoms have worked for us and I am *me* again without the lows.

All the best, Mandy x

ps. I better not have jinxed us now or I'll be after you!!!

[HanJ]

Mandy - thanks, I'm glad there is hope to get 'used to' condoms. Arg, 35? That's another 9 years! I didn't ask my Dr what age he would consider our request, I must do that.

Aimee - I've tried mirena which is localised, tiny amount of synthetic progesterone, and its meant to not have any side effects but it made me depressed too (even tho its not meant to) so I'm not willing to try anything hormonal anymore, its just not worth it. Thanks for the ideas anyway. Our Dr says we're both too young for a permanent option.