Going Permanent?

[Trudy]

Why is it so hard to make that decision. I had the option of a TL with my last c-section but thought there no point as I'd still have to take the pill to control the endo. And the pill has always worked well for me. However the last few months there have been days when I've forgotten to take it.

A couple of weeks ago someone said, as Beth and I were playing with her newborn, that I could take him home if I liked (jokingly of course). I didn't even hesitate to say no thanks, I'm done. Where as while back I would have said sure.

So I KNOW I'm done. I do not want to do another pregnancy, HG, c-section or the whole newborn thing. Ok there's the odd time when I think maybe. Though there was one time when I thought maybe I was pg. My prayer was "God if you've let me get pg then don't let me have HG, no SPD, no loss, no other complications, and a baby even easier than Adam (if that's possible), if not then don't let me get pg!" Not the best prayer but I know you all understand.

Anyway, I'm supposed to having more surgery soon (abdominal) and thought of asking for a TL at the same time (would prefer a hyst but the surgeon doesn't think I need it at this stage). However if he said yes to doing a TL I'm really not sure if I could go through with it.

I can't work out why I'm struggling to do anything permanent in me when I'm 100% sure I'm done. Yet I'd be fine for Dh to have a Vas. Why is this?

[aaronsmommy]

Do you have Nuva Ring in NZ? It is great for people who can't remember to take pills (and they even have a timer you can get for you computer to remind you to change it the 2 times each month you actually need to think about it.

Totally with you on the decision, I think it is one that I will let time make for me, because I don't think I will be able to do it.

[mandy]

Trudy,

I don't have any answers but I do really understand. I can handle the thought of a vas for dh but have never seriously considered a tubal or such for myself. I do not want any more children but I suppose being fertile is a huge part of what and who am I. Whether that is stupid (of me), I just don't know.

Mandy x

[Proudmama]

[nomore]

I agree, Id try the Nuva ring for a while longer and hold out on the tubes. Its so very permanent.

And, Mandy, I totally 100% get what you are saying. DH got the vas, and I was OK with it, since it wasnt me. I dont want anymore kids, cant do HG/pre-e again, but, if you took away my personal fertility, I know Id be having a siginificanlty harder time coping. Having the option, however nill, means something to me.

Trudy.

[krdoty]

I can't work out why I'm struggling to do anything permanent in me when I'm 100% sure I'm done. Yet I'd be fine for Dh to have a Vas. Why is this?

I had a friend who had huge reservations about getting a hysterectomy despite having come to terms with the fact that she would never have biological children. She said that what made her hold out for so many years was that she felt like she would not be a full woman without the reproductive organs even though they were not properly functioning. She pointed out that when dogs and cats are sterilized that they are often called "it" instead of "he" or "she" and she generalized that to her hysterectomy. Maybe I've overanalyzing, but I wonder if maybe this is part of what we have to deal with when we consider getting tubals.