How did you decide??? (LONG)

[natnkatsmommy]

First a little bit of background on me. I am 24 years old, 22 weeks pregnant with our third child. My pregnancy with our son, I really didn't know that it was abnormal. I started medication at my 8 weeks appiontmen, lost a total of 10 lbs with him in the first trimester, had to quit my job and worked out a deal with my prof.'s at school to only come in for exams. Later on in the pregnancy with him I developed preclampsia and was induced @38 weeks.
My daughter was definetly my worst pregnacy, was throwing up before AF was due so took a HPT. Had to quite my job again and lost 30 lbs with her. I delivered her at the same weight i was when I got preg with her. Had to deal with the HG as well as partial previa (which moved later on) only to have her delivered via emergency C section due to a placental abruption.

With this pregnancy, I held out till 10 weeks befoe starting the meds and attempted to wean my self off them last week (Backfire!!!). So I am continuing them at a lower dose and hoping all goes as well as to be expected.
Lately i have been having thoughts of never doing this again. I feel as though it is a chore and really am not comfortable feeling this way. My husband always wanted six kids, where I was great with 4. Well three is almost 4 right.

So my question is, what finally made you decide not to have anymore, if you have, and what would you do in my situation? (I know you can't tell me what to do, just as a hypothetical)

Sorry so long...thanks a bunch!!!!

[mandy]

Hiya,

All I can say to this is that whatever you are feeling and thinking now, you may (and probably will) feel very differently a few months after the birth. You probably know this from your previous two. Whilst I was pregnant I was a 'never again' girl but not pregnant things seem much more - hmmm what's the word? - manageable, as in nine months out of your life is worth it for the baby. At the time of pregnancy though, you often question that, or I did anyway. I wouldn't invest too much time thinking about this just yet. Tell yourself you will think thro all the pros and cons say 6 months after the birth. I did this after my second and have decided to stick at two (wanted four). But I do know that if I had an 'oopsie' I would manage somehow and get thro it. I just am not choosing to follow that route again deliberately. I will always feel sad about not having my four, but you've gotta draw the line somewhere and say 'enough is enough'! After two I am able to say that, see if you are too after this baby arrives. Don't put pressure on yourself right now.

Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy. Mandy x

[dwtegli]

I agree with Mandy. Now is not the time to decide. I decided during my second pregnancy that I didn't want anymore. Do to different circumstances, we were unable to get my tubes tied after that pregnancy and just when I had really and truly made up my mind to not have any more, I went in to schedule the surgery, and I was pregnant!! Since I knew at that point that I was done, I was planning to have my tubes tied after that last pregnancy. We weren't able to again, but I knew I was done so six weeks after Colton was born, I asked the doc to schedule the tubal, and we decided it would be best for me to have a hysterectomy. I don't regret this decision at all. I feel so much better physically and I don't have to be terrified every month of being pregnant. I love my kids, but three is definitely enough for me. I am currently in baby fever, but I really don't want one, I would just like to hold someone elses.

My point is, don't make any decisions now, wait until a few months after the baby is born and see if you really, honestly believe you are done.