Being guilted into more.

Discuss the triumph or heartache of not having more children, and the struggle to make that decision.

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Being guilted into more.

Postby rollercoasterchild » Nov 28, 2015 9:36 am

I'm 24 years old and on week 33 of my first (and only, we've decided) pregnancy. My son isn't even here yet and I'm already feeling tremendous pressure from others in my life, particularly my parents, to try to have more children.

"Each pregnancy is different, your next one will be better." Excuse me? Frankly, I don't ever want to experience pregnancy ever again. I lost 30lbs in my first 12 weeks, had an ER visit for dehydration, lost my sense of self for so long. And that's what I consider to be mild HG!

It's hard enough to not have my loved ones understand the difficulties that HG has placed on my husband and I, but when they keep insinuating that I should "roll the dice" and try this again it makes it much more painful. It makes me feel like others don't think my son is "enough" and they are invalidating the toll it is taking to bring him here. I'm tired of these attempts to pressure and guilt me. "You probably won't get sick again." "You'll forget all about it once he's here." NO. That's not how HG is. I will never forget those 12 weeks. The risks are too high. But my words just fall on deaf ears.

All this is a rant, I know, I just needed to vent to others who truly understand what I'm going through.

Bonus: If I hear one more time about how "lucky" I am to have lost weight because of my pregnancy I am going to scream.
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Re: Being guilted into more.

Postby DivineLotus » Dec 09, 2015 4:08 am

I understand. We were one and done too. The hubby got baby fever and frankly so did I. I loved my baby so much, how can I not love another. We ttc, I got pregnant, had a good doc, was on disability, meds galore, and cannabis also. #2 was more managable because I prepared. Yes it was hard being really sick and not being able to play with my daughter. I missed her, I missed my life, I missed going to work. Now the aftermath, I find 2 babies to take care of so hard. The sleep deprivation is a killer. My baby wakes up ever 3 or 4 hrs which is good but lately is every 2 beacuse he's sick (he's 4 months old). I have to juggle time, the place is always a mess, the dishes are hardly done because my son wants to be carried. My daughter screams and plays and sometimes wakes him up. And no you don't get to take a nap unless she does too. They will be coming into the room asking for food or tv or play or ask questions. I'm really not trying to scare you. Just because I suck at #2 doesn't mean you will, but for me, boy is it harder than 1 baby. I love my son don't get me wrong, I juat wish for some sleep. So on that note, I am done at 2.
Second HG baby. 8/6/15
Treated with zofran, diclegis, compro, colace, jigsaw magnesium. HG 7 weeks - 17 weeks. Continued meds.

First HG baby. 4/11/11
HG 4-20weeks, little treatment, severe. Zofran, reglan, B6, placenta pervia, lost 12lbs, depression, ptsd.
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Joined: Oct 05, 2010 2:40 pm

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