jealous and sad

[IslandDreamer]

Hi All,

Before I miscarried in May, I always accepted that I would have one child. No problems with that. Had never expected to have any at all...long story there.

Now I am sad when I see Chris playing alone...ALL THE TIME on regular days at home. We have friends over, sure, but it's not the same. I keep imagining his siblings with him (so does he), these phantom children, but I know that will never be. Not just because his little sister died but because I can't do hg, or the bigger nightmare for me, ppmds again.

Will I forever look at women with more than one child with such sadness and envy? Women who have normal pgs and healthy children. These are the women who have been the most support to me since Hope died, but they have 2, 3 and now since Monday, 7 children respectively. All with general ease and normalcy. I should be grateful for these new friends (especially since most of my old friends have abandoned me...guess grief is uncomfortable, eh?) but being with these three women and their children, and my son who cries about being "one," is so difficult.

[Dana]

I debated on having another child, and now have a unplanned pregnancy. HG again ! But I just want to say that I understand where you are coming from I felt the same way with my first child. My brother has 3 boys and it was a little hard seeing them play together. Have you ever thought of adoption. I really thought that I might do that at some point. Maybe try having a foster child at first and see how you and your husband feel....or just you !

[Dana]

One obvious thing to add, is I wasn't indicating you should go out and adopt just to have someone for your child to play with. I mean instead of going through HG again......

[Natalie]

Dana,

Suzanne (who began this thread) actually had another son last month!!! His name is Jack and you can read all about him in the 3rd Tri. folder and see pictures of him in the Birth Announcements forum

All the best for your new pgy.

Natalie, x

[IslandDreamer]

Hi Dana,

Congratulations on your surprise baby. As Natalie said (thanks, Natalie), my surprise baby landed safely on December 2, 2005. I'm STILL surprised to be quite honest.

Looking forward to getting to know you.
Suzanne

[Dana]

LOL ! That is great !!!! I guess I didn't read my dates very well. But maybe it will help someone else.... Congrats !