Make them stop!!!

[aaronsmommy]

I keep having these dreams that I'm having another baby. Either I'm pregnant, or have just had the baby, and in all of them I wasn't as sick as before. In the dreams I'm miserable, but manage to get by with a lot of rest and meds and no TPN or scary stuff.

I'm having them often enough that I'm starting to believe that it would be possible.

At least JennyK is out there to be my reality check. I just have to keep reminding myself I don't want to be pregnant again, really.

Really.

[PamelaRose]

Maybe you wouldn't be as sick, probably you would be. More than likely you'd make it through, definitely you deserve another baby. Wish I could help!

Speaking of pregnancy, did you ever figure that nausea out? Good thing Jenny is here to remind you! Because no TPN, no scary stuff, just rest is probably NOT going to happen. But if this is a prophetic dream, remember my offer of an ice-fishing HG safehouse.

[mandy]

Aimee,

I often get the same dreams. Even fulfilling my wishes to the full and I complete my family -whambam! - with a boy/girl twin pregnancy! I have a lovely little 'fun' bit of morning sickness (you know, textbook style) and then glow, eating tubs of ice-cream etc and looking fab in flowing maternity tops!

*** ***

It's just the pregnancy I always thought I'd get.

Sometimes I wake up really upset because I go through all those cheated feelings again. I also get like you and think maybe my body is telling me something, that if I did it again it would all be ok and I'd be so relieved that I took the chance.

I never got this inbetween my pregnancies so I wonder too if it's just my mind testing me as I pass through this phase to the phase where I may be able to one day let dh have a vas. I don't know, but I do know that it conjures up all those sad feelings which I could do without.

Last month we had a little scare and I waited anxiously for my cycle. I've seen this happen to women here and it stirs up feelings and then the next thing they are ttc. Well, for me, it scared me. I saw all my plans for the next year go completely down the pan (not a good choice of phrase on a hg site!). It really made me think things through. If I'd have had my way we would def have had another by now, but as the years tick by the child rearing years are going beyond what I planned. Therefore I think maybe a child would not be right for us anymore now. What happened last month makes me feel more comfortable with where we are. I think....!


Sorry to blab on. This thread is about you not me but I hope you can see that I understand. I go through phases of having these dreams more then less. Recently they have been a lot less frequent, which is, I'm sure, to do with the fact that I am finding it easier to distance myself from this site now.

Much love, Mandy x

[peanut]

This is kind of funny. I had lunch with my mom yesterday and we got to talking about dreams. She had a hysterectomy when she was 37 (ruptured ovary). She told me that she STILL has dreams about being pregnant again and she is in her 50's. She said that sometimes she even tries to rationalize how she could actually really be pregnant, before she fully wakes up. She had 4 kids, so I don't always think that this is caused by wanting a another kid or because of an "unfinished" family. I think that this is something that all women get, especially when they are talking to and seeing other women going through pregnancy (especially fluffy ones).


Lora


PS if this post is a little wacky or doesn't make much sense it is because I just had dilaudid and phenergant in the hospital a couple hours ago, so please excuse any weirdness

[nomore]

Aimee.

Its not fair when your sub-concoius messes with you. I will offer you the hope that IF you ever did TTC again, look at my last pregnancy, it WAS my easiest. Not really a cake walk, but no tpn. I do attribute part of this to my detoxes before prengnacy and the NAET. Yes, used the zofran pump, which worked better for me, but I used a LOT less meds than the slew I was on my 2nd pregnancy and they actually did something, even if not as much as I wanted.

Of course, Im not sure how you feel about alternitive treatments... given your profession I know its not always given too much credibility.

Sadly there is only hope it will be better and not a guarentee. And the reality is, it might not.

[aaronsmommy]

I'm not one to think that the dreams are a sign or anything, it's just that when I have the same ones over and over it is easy to start confusing that with reality.

I've always had ideas or plans about what I would do if I were to get pg again (they are actually pretty well developed, and, yes, they would include some complementary therapies), but the problem is that it would have to be more that a little better (more than a lot better even) in order to make it work, and I know there is no way I want to be facing a termination if that didn't happen.

The rational part of me knows this isn't somthing that is going to happen. Stupid subconscious.

Pamela - I think that job in Buffalo has pretty good disability insurance . . .

[BrandiJK]

(((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))) I have those dreams all the time. ALL the time. I can not begin to tell you the amount of babies in my dreams. Sometimes I am bent over the tiolet barfing my gits out, sometimes I am happy and fluffy.

I hate them. I wish they would just go away. I think it is dealing with that past, holding it, understanding it, but mostly just accepting it. Most of us, though we think we do most times, can vouch for the fact that we really dont accept it as a truth and reality. Oh no, that did not really happen to me, and it surely wont happen again.

I hope they ease soon. I am sorry.

[JennyK]

I just saw this and am chuckling at the fact that I can inspire someone not to get pregnant. You wouldn't even do it again with a g-tube? You wouldn't have to worry about a picc infection or being driven to madness from a NJ tube. You could just be plain old horribly sick for 9 months. Doesn't that sound like fun? Who wants to sign up?

[aaronsmommy]

Jenny -

Yeah, it's the can't catch a break feature that seems vaguely familiar.

If dh wanted to do it, and I had disability insurance that covered pg, then I'd probably be going for it with the g-tube.

It still doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun - well, I know it wouldn't be any fun at all - and who knows how many complications I could come up with anyway. I'm sure I could manage quite a few even without TPN.

Aaron actually is the biggest handful he has ever been right now (NON-STOP question spewing), so sometimes I think that having only one doesn't sound like such a bad idea, but on the other hand, a sibling would probably be just what we all needed to keep him busy, so that makes me want another.

If I could do it by just being generally miserable like in my dreams, instead of horrible, rather be dead sort of miserable like it probably would be, that would make it much more appealing . . .

[JennyK]

Yeah, Aimee, you are one of the few people I've heard of who has managed to find more complications than I have. You can get disability insurance to cover this through AFLAC unless the CA application is entirely different than the MT one. I haven't risen to "rather be dead" misery every day, just most days.

[PamelaRose]

I have offered Aimee a peaceful, rustic sick room during a long, freezing MN winter (as I recall, she attempted hypothermia w/Aaron's pg to offset HG...). Granted, it's on a lake in an ice fishing shack and is dependent on ice thickness and halting the progress of global warming, but at least she's got that option. Many men live in their fish houses during the winter, so there would be no shortage of helpful nurses to look in on her. They'd be stinky and slightly inebriated, perhaps, but I do think the plan is workable.

[aaronsmommy]

Pamela - I think Aaron is ready for that plan. Yesterday he comes up with "I wish we were penguins" Uh, why? "Because then we could play in the ice and the snow"

Jenny - I still haven't looked in to the AFLAC stuff. It's still hard to believe they would cover me since I got rejected twice before. My insurance agent thought I might be able to get my current exclusion changed after a year or two, but no such luck. My work stuff is quite up in the air right now, so I could end up with a group policy soon where it is covered. Mike still doesn't want to think about it - and it's not like I have much ammunition to convince him with!

[JennyK]

AFLAC rejected you or a different company rejected you? All AFLAC cared about was my history from the past 12 months. I was explicit with the agent about why I wanted coverage and it's worked out great.

Tell Aaron we have lots of ice and snow in Montana, too. I'd rather have been in Pamela's ice fishing shack during the winter while pg than my living room this summer.

[aaronsmommy]

No, it wasn't AFLAC. The questions I got asked were mostly about problems in the past 3 years, so I'd be okay with those now, but then I've always been asked "Have you ever been denied insurance?" which I have and would trigger the whole medical history.

The reason I never called AFLAC after you suggested it before is that the disability says it may only offered through your employer, and I just feel like I'm going to get told no again. Doesn't mean I shouldn't actually try, I know - but the way my job is right now I figure I have to wait a bit anyway.

We'll see where our family of penguins ends up!

[PamelaRose]

You better move quick if you're hoping to catch a cold midwest winter. With global warming, we ought to be about the same climate as southern CA in about, oh, 5 years.

[JennyK]

I can't remember one way or the other if AFLAC asked whether I've been denied insurance. I have not, so it wouldn't have been an issue. BUT...their brochure says something to the effect of "this policy does not cover morning sickness, but it does cover hyperemesis gravidarum." Seriously.

AFLAC needed to set up a group through my employer for me to sign up. It's a group of one and just a matter of a little paperwork. It was really awkward because I basicaclly had to go to my boss and explain why I wanted it. I was going to tell him anyway, but it was a horrible conversation to start. With your job situation being up in the air I'm sure it's not a good time to deal with setting up an AFLAC insurance group even if you wanted to.

Pamela, the way Montana winters have been lately I think it will take less than 5 years before we have Southern California winters here!

[aaronsmommy]

Hmmm, I hadn't thought of that, but it does sound like it could work. Right now isn't the right time for me to do it, but I can keep it in mind for later. Even if I'm not planning another pg, it would be nice to have disability insurance that would cover it just in case.

If I got pg by accident, I really don't want to be in the position of feeling like I need to terminate because of money.

[IslandDreamer]

Aaron's penguin comment is a crack up. Your boy sure knows how to light up a room with a sentence. He's a funny kid!

[AmberWest]

I just saw this and am chuckling at the fact that I can inspire someone not to get pregnant.

I'm pretty sure I am another example to others in the respect that Amanda said my situation helped her NOT doubt her decision to get a tubal.

Amiee, I too hate those dreams! I had them the whole time ( 3 whopping months) that I wasn't pg anymore. It was either, a. I could do it again without it being so bad, (which is really cruel when you think about it) or b. this would be the worst experience of my life. (more probable) In my case this time does seem to be a bit easier than the last in the throwing up dept. But that sure doesn't mean it couldn't have gone the other way in the blink of an eye. Heck, it could still turn on me in a second if I'm not careful. I wish there was some easy answer for you beyond if you did do it, plan, plan, plan. And if you decide in your heart, heck no, no more, then that is what is right for you and your family. Not to mention, you have the most ADOREABLE little boy to cuddle in the mean time. That's something, it's got to be. Otherwise how would we all make it through the finial decision one way or the other?