Counseling

[NanaWeez]

I have been reading the heartbreaking stories of the women who terminated their pregnancies. As I read, one of the women's comments really hit me. She wrote,

"Why didn't they suggest counseling BEFORE the termination?"

What a wonderful idea. My mother died of cancer, and before she died, a hospice worker came to her home a couple of times a week to talk to her about dying, her illness, and anything she wanted to talk about. It meant so much to her.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if the same services were provided for every HG sufferer, their family, and/or caregivers? As we all know, the disease is such an isolating one.

I'm sure many have thought of this before, but may I just recommend that we might want to offer this subject as one for discussion. Hopefully, someday, OB offices will offer counseling as standard procedure for HG sufferers. Hopefully, this website will help to make that a possibility.

Thanks. What a wonderful website for HG women. When I had HG, no one had ever heard of it, and I felt so alone.

NanaWeez

[caleighbelle47]

I agree that counseling is a great option, it certainly has helped me in the past for other non HG reasons. However, I think I would need a counselor that really understood HG. I think that might be hard to find, and where I live impossible. To me this website has been my counseling, and a complete lifesaver. But it would probably benefit most of us to find a good counselor. And in the case of termination, I really believe counseling would be the best option, if for nothing else but to help deal with the loss. I've had my share of BAD counselors and it can be very discouraging, but when you do find a good one it can be the best thing in the world, I reccomend asking around from doctors or friends for reccomendation (you'd be surprised how many people are in counseling) it's the best way to find a good counselor.

Angela

[NanaWeez]

Good points.

The ideal would be that all medical professionals acknowledge the realities of HG and make sure their offices have at least one former HG sufferer who has been trained as a counselor--even if it's someone who could talk over the phone (if there isn't an HGer in their city). The minute a woman calls or comes in with HG symptoms, the doctor could offer her assistance to his patient and she would be on the case.

Wouldn't that be wonderful? I wonder how we get something like that rolling.

As you say, this website is wonderful because a woman can get so many opinions, viewpoints, and strategies that she can pick and choose from--to match her personality and her situation. It is awesome!

NanaWeez

I agree that counseling is a great option, it certainly has helped me in the past for other non HG reasons. However, I think I would need a counselor that really understood HG. I think that might be hard to find, and where I live impossible. To me this website has been my counseling, and a complete lifesaver. But it would probably benefit most of us to find a good counselor. And in the case of termination, I really believe counseling would be the best option, if for nothing else but to help deal with the loss. I've had my share of BAD counselors and it can be very discouraging, but when you do find a good one it can be the best thing in the world, I reccomend asking around from doctors or friends for reccomendation (you'd be surprised how many people are in counseling) it's the best way to find a good counselor.

Angela

[MamaLily]

Hi!

I think counseling is such a great idea! And it would really help all HGers, regardless of whether termination is a consideration or not.

There was recently a thread called "Psychologist who deals with medical trauma" posted in the "Preparing for HG" folder. I think this is such a great idea for HGers...I wonder how many of these counselors are available and where they all are!

- Anna

[danimomof2girls]

I have to agree with you guys. I also think that with HG, a good doctor can make all of the difference. I think many undergo "therapeutic terminations" because they are scared and do not think that they will survive HG. The truth is, there ARE treatments out there that will get you through it and in a healthy manner. Mine happened to be a Hickman Cathetor (goes into your subclavian vein) with TPN's (total perenteral nutrition) therapy via a pump daily. They didn't just stop there. I was severely anemic so I went to the Cancer Care Center weekly for intravenous Iron treatments to boost my hematocrit. Of course I still felt ill, but I knew that my baby and I were getting the much needed nutrients and that in nine months, it would all be over!
How many women do you think would have reconsidered their terminations if they knew that they would come through their pregnancy with a healthy and beautiful baby? My daughters amaze the pediatricians with their strength and health and of course, we joke that they left nothing for mommy
I hope that this website brings strength to those women and that heightened awareness can change the outcome of many of their pregnancies!
I don't think abortion clinics give enough counseling though. I have a friend who just underwent a termination and she was hysterically crying before and during the procedure and they didn't even bat an eyelash. She briefly spoke to someone saying that she didn't know how she could keep the baby and they said, "ok, let's do it then." I think it was a poorly handled situation and I don't know if all of them are handled that way. My friend has now been going through intense trauma and regrets her decision quite a bit. I feel for her and wish that there was better counseling available for those considering termination because it is such a huge decision.

[IslandDreamer]

There are also many counseling/support programs available to folks who cannot afford therapy. Project Rachel is a post-abortive recovery program through the Catholic church, and from what I understand, one needn't be Catholic to participate. And in the Detroit area, Project Grace provides recovery services.

There are many avenues for healing after an abortion. The grief and sense of loss when a child dies is tremendous, and the accompanying guilt can be debilitating. I wish society would be kinder to these parents. I am glad we are a forum of compassion and healing where we seek support for our peers.

As someone else said, Abortions are all too frequently poorly managed...most often, the emotional and psychological outcomes are ignored in the clinics. It all makes me so sad. These poor women grieve their babies, as I grieve my precious Hope, and so often they have not been given options, information, and compassion. Breaks my heart.

[danimomof2girls]

In Knoxville, we have Project Gabrial through my Catholic Church but we also have other programs that are less denominational in this area. You can find many of these on the web. These really are great programs with very non-judgemental counselors who can offer support to you.