Hyperemesis Gravidarum Support and Research Forums

by **Wild Spirit** » Jan 20, 2006 10:52 am

I heard my own voice last night.....don't you just hate it when that happens. I sounded like a whinnig co-dependant. Someone I was many years ago. I was saying "I'm here all day with these kids trying to do dishes and laundry, and your out in the world doing interesting things and talking to interesting people, and I wait all day for you to come home and when you do, all you want to do is eat and watch Star Trek" blah blah blah.......
UGH....I don't want to be this person. I've been so sick for so long,(I'm at week 35) and I feel like my muscles have turned to jello and I have no energy. I've rid myself of so many people in my life as I'm not really tolerant of remarks like "Maybe next time you'll be careful what you wish for"
I want to be my independant self again. The woman who doesn't depend on other to make her happy. The woman who brightens others days, the one whose kids admire her for her energy and spirit.
I need to fix alot of stuff and I feel like recognizing this was a big first step. Today I'm going to town to pick up the things I usually ask my husband to pick up on his way home from work, and then I think I'll take the kids to the park. When I get home I'm going to brush one of my horses.
Thanks for listening.

by **BrandiJK** » Jan 20, 2006 12:06 pm

((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))) We understand. I miss my life so much. I am happy with the timing of this baby. I'll be regaining my self, my vitality, and my life with the coming of the spring. You and I are right along the same time line it seems! (assuming your on my side of the world, and spring is coming soon, not fall)

Don't over do yourself, but enjoy your horse! Give a pat for me!! Dh promised me, once I am recovered, I get horse riding lessons. I am very excited, it helps so much to plan out my life after HG. I am determined to live my life fully once it is returned to me. I have learned who my true friends are, and where my true community exists, and I plan on treasuring every ounce of those people!

The last few weeks time stops completely. Have you stopped by the thrid tri forum? I think it helps to have other moms who are stuck in the waiting space...when hearing "it's almost over" is both a blessing and curse because 5 more weeks feels like 10 more years.

by **caseyhg** » Jan 20, 2006 1:30 pm

I completely understand how you feel. This is not me. I am full of energy. I have 2 jobs and I am hardworking. I cook dinner every night. My house is always clean. Laundry is always done. That is the kind of person I am.

But now... I barely make it to one job. I am tired, lifeless, depressed. My husband does everything for us now. cook, clean work, pay bills. I hate being so dependant. I can't wait to be my old self again.

I think I am harder on myself than anyone else is though. We are allowed to relax and take it easy now. We've got babies to make and take care of. We can't help it if we are sick and we know we are not lazy. After 9 months we can go back to being superwomen again, right?

Casey

by **Wild Spirit** » Jan 20, 2006 4:46 pm

Thanks guys,
I appreciate the support. I met hubby for lunch in town, took the kids grocery shopping, visited a friend, and came home shuffled and fed horses (which I haven't done for 7 months). The kids have been kind of looking at me very confused, not daring to say anything. It feels good.
I'm in Nova Scotia, Canada, so yes, spring will be wonderful!!!
Brandi.....wish you were here, we could ride together this spring!!!

by **BrandiJK** » Jan 21, 2006 11:27 am

Sounds wonderful!!! I swear...we should all win round the world airfairs to see all our fellow HG survivors!!! Wouldn't that be swell??

by **IslandDreamer** » Jan 21, 2006 2:50 pm

So glad you were able to tend to your horses. How lovely after 7 months. How are you doing today?

by **Wild Spirit** » Jan 22, 2006 9:42 am

I haven't ben able to get my head out of the toilet yesterday or so far today. This new frame of mind will take serious devotion on days like these. I'm feeling week and tired. I will try to get out to the barn at least to hug a horse today.
Thanks again guys. :-)

by **BrandiJK** » Jan 22, 2006 4:50 pm

(((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) Just remember, one moment at a time, no matter how close we get to being done.

Hope that hug was warm, welcoming, and wonderful!

by **Wild Spirit** » Jan 24, 2006 2:53 pm

Why am I sick now ? I've had 2 good months as far as the actual vomiting goes. This last week I've been vomiting everyday again, and feel just horrible. Do we go through a hormone change at 35 weeks ?????? I really want to be cheerful and productive, but I'm having a hard time keeping my spirits up when my head is in the toilet!

by **IslandDreamer** » Jan 24, 2006 3:14 pm

I'm sorry you're sick again. Blah!

Reflux really kicked in for me when baby started to get bigger. And at 35 weeks, our bodies are starting to prepare for labor and delivery, so hormone changes do happen. I found myself getting severely cranky (like PMS) at that point, so I know it was hormones for me, not just reflux.

by **teddi** » Jan 24, 2006 3:29 pm

It's common to have relapses in the 3rd tri. The baby pushing your stomach up to your throat doesn't help, KWIM?

Also, you might have overdone a bit. Very common for ladies to relapse after putting too much effort. Baby steps!

I really hope you feel better soon.

by **BrandiJK** » Jan 25, 2006 12:29 pm

I am with Suzanne, hormones are surging and I am finding it hard to be cheery. The gag reflex is back, and nothing helps with the constant heart burn.

I am sorry your sick again, it sucks. It's hard enough to be sick with out this belly in the way and the baby kicking our gag buttons.

If you can't be cheery and uplifting, then don't be. Of course, seeing as how I have become a cranky-machine, that's the only advise I can give.

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