So sad...

[bratty477]

A few weeks ago, I became a "buddy" to one of the ladies here posting on the forum and we chatted at least once a week just to check on each other and talk about some options of trying to get out of feeling so miserable. It was great and she seemed like such a great lady.

I won't put her name here out of respect (if she's ready to post again and share her story, fine but I'm really posting for me here). Well, not too long ago, I got a horrible e-mail from her telling saying that at almost 16 weeks, they couldn't find the heartbeat. Needless to say, she was devastated. I was devastated.

I'm worried about her but I also don't want to call her until she's ready to talk about it. I sent her an e-mail asking her to just let me know that she's ok when she's ready, I'll still be here for her.

I just can't get this out of my mind. I feel so sad and so badly for her. She went through so many weeks of hell to get to this point to know that she won't get what she endured so long and hard for.

I had heard that the statistics on when we can "safe" is totally different for HG women...it makes me worry everyday even though I will soon be moving past the first trimester.

[BrandiJK]

(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))) to you both.

I understand that fear, I think we all do. I am sorry for any who know it as a reality. For your friend, I am beyond sorry.

I am glad you felt safe enough to post for yourself.

[Gracie]

Definite (((((hugs))))) to both of you! I am so sorry to hear what the both of you are enduring.

Regarding your worries at each doc appt, and past 1st trimester; it can be a "normal" feeling as long as it is not all-consuming and distressing. Please talk to your doctor and nurse about your worries, they may be able to schedule you for more visits or find you spots in-between regular visits if you are having a hard time. Don't be shy to call with your questions.

My doctor said it is common to worry a bit more, especially with rough pregnancies and also with women who have had more than one pg or miscarriages in the past.

I hope that there is someone on this forum that has some wisdom for you to help ease your mind.... I'll be praying for you and if you need anything (to vent, reassurance...) don't hesitate to post or you can even PM me.

[bratty477]

Great news!!!! I just heard from my buddy and it seems like while still devastated and so sad, she's focusing her energies to where she can make a difference the next time she gets pregnant. This really made my day and gave me relief to know that she's so strong!!!

[Marie]

That is good news. Thinking of you both and praying for her angel in heaven.

Hugs,
Marie

[IslandDreamer]

I'm so sorry for the added stress to your time with your baby. It's hard not to experience our worst fears after watching our friends go through them.

And I'm so sorry for your buddy. Please let her know I'm here to support her. Send her to the grief board so we can help help with the support team, etc.

[PamelaRose]

I'm so sorry to hear that, Kristin. You're doing the right thing by offering to be there when she's ready. Yes, new studies are showing that HGers have a higher incidence of loss in the 2nd trimester, but that number is still very, very low. Of course we all worry, because we all know the low odds of HG, yet here we are. There are no guarantees, but look at all the happy, beautiful children here--all of them from mothers who got sick and worried throughout their pregnancies. Even those of us who've experienced loss have gone on to try again if possible. You just take each day at a time and know that you're doing everything you possibly can to get a healthy baby here. Hugs to you and to your buddy!