Alison,
I am so sorry that you are having such a rough time. I know EXACTLY how you feel about work/life/trying to exist! It's so hard... and I loved reading your post because it validated everything I feel. I don't want to go to work, even when I feel "okay", since I finally have a teeny bit of energy that I want to devote to my family instead. My boys are getting very tired of mom sleeping the weekends away.
Some good advice someone told me: I will only be pregnant with Caleb for a little while in my life, and this is probably not the last job I will ever have. If something happens to it, so be it. I will be fine.
Easy to say, but my wages are a pretty big need for us right now!
Have you asked yet if you can go to a shortened week? I cannot- they just won't let me. They all think I am "faking" it or exaggerating it or something. I have only missed a grand total of about 2 weeks for this HG mess, and that's been pretty spread out across my pregnancy (I am at 23 weeks now), but if I had not begun on Zofran, I most assuredly would have been fired by now, as I just couldn't exist.
Here's something I learned last week (when I came back into work after a few days off): watch your blood sugar. This is REALLY hard... you don't feel like eating is an option, but you drink all of this water to keep hydrated... then you lose the water... or not, but you feel terrible... so food is DEFINITELY out... then you faint! Be REALLY careful.
***FOODMENT!!!*** Try to sneak in a little sugar anywhere you can (I find cheese-n-crackers pretty bearable for the most part). Or a coke, in a pinch, or a glass of milk. It's just really important (as I found out, blacking out in the bathroom at work on Friday and then getting the same way this morning!). *** End FOODMENT!***
I know it is really hard to keep up with everything we have to do. One thing I do that seems to give me at least a sense of control is to watch my ketones religiously (pee on a ketostix!). I can tell when it is slightly elevated and do something about it, which gives me ONE LITTLE THING that I can be in charge of. That helps me feel a lot better.
I know it hurts when your son keeps running to daddy. My son is 12, so he is better able to understand what's going on, but I miss his company anyway. I don't want him to be around when I feel bad, because I think I drag him down, so I encourage him to go spend time with his dad a lot. One the rare occasions that I do feel well, I try to grab him so that we can catch up. I wish I could give you suggestions for your toddler, but I just can't. I have no insight at all. Just know that it is short-term, a few more months!
And don't worry what they think about it at work. Work can wait. There's always other work if you end up needing it. Your baby is hard enough work as it is!
Feel free to email me (
sarah.myers@us.ing.com) anytime you want. If you need me after hours, you can always use my husband's email address and it will find me (
neil_myers@bellsouth.net). We HG Sisters stick together!
Love,
Sarah