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Putting the Pieces Back Together, Post HG
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by BrandiJK » Apr 06, 2006 5:43 pm
Just thought I would update...
Things are improving, ever so slowly, but improving none the less. We still have not 'talked', and I really have not talked much about it to anyone. But a little bit here and there seeps out, and I am becoming more clear on my own emotions.
Dh and I are moving along ok. There are still topics I avoid all together, but he has been 'here' more, and appreciative of what I do around here. Still not sure if he is appreciative of 'who I am', not just what I do, but that is part of my issue and I don't think I'll be able to see any of that until I can work through my own 'stuff'. I have to be willing to be vunerable before I can look for an answer to that question. If that makes any sense.
He's being very gentle with me, and really trying to help out more. I am enjoying being with him more and more, and are even snuggling and having some intimacy together. Here and there, but it's still something.
As for the friendships that were destroyed through out the HG battle, running away from the problem won't fix anything, nor will holding a grudge. I am trying to look at it more as being thankful for the friends that I gained and those that stuck by me through out this last year. And, of course, learning my own will and my own strength, and learning the true value of a supportive and giving nature.
I have not had to face any of those people, and won't have to for another month, so I decided I'll just cross that bridge when I get to it. I still dont want them to see my daughter, I don't want to give them the gift of seeing her perfect face or feeling her perfect warmth. But...one step at a time...I still have a month before I have to battle that.
Anyway...step by step, it's getting easier.
Things are improving, ever so slowly, but improving none the less. We still have not 'talked', and I really have not talked much about it to anyone. But a little bit here and there seeps out, and I am becoming more clear on my own emotions.
Dh and I are moving along ok. There are still topics I avoid all together, but he has been 'here' more, and appreciative of what I do around here. Still not sure if he is appreciative of 'who I am', not just what I do, but that is part of my issue and I don't think I'll be able to see any of that until I can work through my own 'stuff'. I have to be willing to be vunerable before I can look for an answer to that question. If that makes any sense.
He's being very gentle with me, and really trying to help out more. I am enjoying being with him more and more, and are even snuggling and having some intimacy together. Here and there, but it's still something.
As for the friendships that were destroyed through out the HG battle, running away from the problem won't fix anything, nor will holding a grudge. I am trying to look at it more as being thankful for the friends that I gained and those that stuck by me through out this last year. And, of course, learning my own will and my own strength, and learning the true value of a supportive and giving nature.
I have not had to face any of those people, and won't have to for another month, so I decided I'll just cross that bridge when I get to it. I still dont want them to see my daughter, I don't want to give them the gift of seeing her perfect face or feeling her perfect warmth. But...one step at a time...I still have a month before I have to battle that.
Anyway...step by step, it's getting easier.
The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child.
- BrandiJK
- Master of HG
- Posts: 4547
- Joined: Aug 05, 2005 12:38 pm
- Location: California, East Bay Area
22 posts
• Page 2 of 2 • 1, 2
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