Snubbed by OB/Midwife

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Snubbed by OB/Midwife

Postby AStevens » Oct 10, 2005 2:11 pm

Anyone else here felt snubbed by a health care provider? I know that they have to get information from my LW, but I've been the primary caregiver at home when she can't even remember her name. I think that the next person to treat me as a sperm donor might get a bit of a "discussion" in the hallway.

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Postby BrandiJK » Oct 10, 2005 2:59 pm

Andy, my husband won't get online, so I thought it would be ok to answer for him. I know he's felt this way. Esp. when the HG is worse, but he's said that he's feels left out of the entire pregnancy when it comes down to the medical profession. I have to pull him through the door when he joins me for appts, just to get him past the check in nurse.

My Dh doesn't join me often for appts, and while he is supportive in his own way, certainly isn't as supportive as you sound. For that I say Kudos to you and keep it up!!!

When it comes to the MW, just step up and make your voice heard. When Dh does come to appts (he's normally home w/ the other kids) he presents himself clearly, steps up, shakes hands, brings up points and questions...something to make his presence known. It seems to help and they remember him fondly.
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Postby dwtegli » Oct 10, 2005 3:05 pm


First of all, welcome and congratulations on your LW's pregnancy.

Second, my Dh doesn't ever come on here and I am not sure if he ever felt that way, but he seldom went to appt's with me unless we were due for an ultrasound or at my worst, when I couldn't drive. I know he very seldom asked or answered questions, but then that is how he is. It sounds like your wife is a very lucky woman to have someone so willing to help and get involved.

kudos to you,
There's no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one. ~ Jill Churchill
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Postby carla » Oct 10, 2005 4:11 pm

I don't think my dh will mind me responding to this one. He has been to all of my app'ts with me. I am unable to drive due to fainting and lightheadedness. TO be honest, Idon't think that we have had this issue because I am so focused on trying to hold up my head. Speaking is just way too difficult. Tell your LW that you are there to take care of her and you will do all the speaking. When they ask me questions I just look at dh and he responds for me. He understands what is going on way better than I do right now. I am so out to lunch. YOu lw will appreciate the effort, trust me!!
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Postby AStevens » Oct 11, 2005 1:51 pm

Thanks Gang.

LW and I went to the appt today and both of us got to talk to the MW for a while and actually discuss things. It was good. We got to listen to the baby's heartbeat today also. It was cool.

My LW is feeling better today (12wks2days) and we hope that it will stay this way. We joked about her eating the "magic meatball" that "cured" her last night before bed. It was one of the frozen ones from Trader Joe's. It's pretty funny ...a vegetarian who craves meatballs!


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