Supporting my wife in hospital

A place where partners, fathers, friends, and family members can discuss experiences and difficulties regarding loved ones' Hyperemesis.

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Supporting my wife in hospital

Postby Ted » Apr 26, 2013 5:29 pm

We are into our ninth week of a horror ride. Up to week five was the calm before the storm, then it went downhill, and now my wife has gone to hospital.

Everyone is unique, but I am not sure of the best way to support her. She has told me very clearly and explicitly that she doesn't want me to come to the hospital - she wants all my focus to be on our daughter.

We don't yet know how long she will be in there for - but much like the HG in general, she just wants to crawl into a hole and tough it out ("I dream I wake up and it is 2014").

But not visiting her and just sitting with her cuts deeply against the grain - she is suffering and I just want to hold her hand and comfort her.

So I was wondering how other women felt about this - do you prefer just to be left alone, and know that your partner is keeping things safe and functioning at home, or should I drop in for a visit - even though she has said no.

Also, does anybody know if the home IV stuff is done in Australia?

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Re: Supporting my wife in hospital

Postby DebbieS » Apr 27, 2013 1:07 am

Personally I preferred having my DH visit. I did want to be left alone/I liked a dark room/didn't talk, but I did appreciate visits where the visitor just sat there & didn't require conversation. My DH brought my 2 year old son in every day, but this wasn't ideal as my son wanted to be anywhere but in my room & was noisy. I would have preferred more 1-1 visits with my DH (having my son cared for by family who also came to the hospital or in the hospital crèche). Women with HG can have a very sensitive sense of smell, and can find the smell of people intolerable, so make sure when you visit that you have some breath mints!! Is your wife just on IV? Is she able to keep down any food? Hospitals can wait too long before offering measures like tpn/feeding tube or steroids. Steroids were what got me eating and drinking again and feeling much better, and I was on them from week 9. I never managed to get home health. The Canberra Hospital has a hospital in the home service, but I don't know if they cater for HG patients. I have wondered whether contacting them/or nursing groups that do home health directly might help, eg they might explain how patients normally get referred.
DS 2003; Loss 2005.
DD 2007.
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Re: Supporting my wife in hospital

Postby Brynn1984 » May 02, 2013 8:28 pm

My husband would know exactly what you are going through. If you could private message me with your email address I would be happy to have him contact you. I am American and he is Australian (we are currently living in the US and that is where I had our son). I know the home health care system in Australia can be a bit iffy, but you might have some luck if you speak to doctors and nurses in the cancer ward, since they would know more about it. Also, I didn't do too well with visitors either. I couldn't talk without vomiting and, like DebbieS said, just the smell of people was overwhelming.
Baby boy Benjamin born on 10.22.12!
Severe HG week 5 - 18, Moderate HG week 19 - 22, Mild HG week 23 - 30
Treatments: PICC line with TPN, Midline with fluids, Zofran, Ativan, Zoloft, Protonix, Milk of Magnesia
Total weight loss: 25 pounds

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Re: Supporting my wife in hospital

Postby Kahanho0 » Jan 14, 2015 10:35 am

Welcome Saberry to the forums. Very sorry about your losses and what you have gone through - and to go through all that you did not knowing about HG. So sad. Glad you found these forums, and hope you can find some answers here.
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