First Timer- Sickness, Helplessness, Frustration

Moms with HG in their 1st trimester.

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First Timer- Sickness, Helplessness, Frustration

Postby jaksef » Dec 18, 2016 2:59 pm

Hello, Internet strangers! I'm looking for a place to get some support as I go through this lovely HG thing, as no one I know seems to have experienced similar severity as myself.

After a surprise diagnosis of PCOS earlier this year (right before our wedding), I was distraught at the thought of not being able to have children- basically inconsolable. I pushed past it with the understanding that we may have to try for a while before we could get pregnant. My husband and I both wanted to start a family fairly soon, and assuming that we'd have to take several measures before getting fertility help, I went off of birth control in September. Lo and behold- early November we find out that we're pregnant! A whole month of trying- we were determined! We couldn't be happier.

At about six weeks the nausea began, and while it sucked, it wasn't the worst thing in the world. I was prescribed Diclegis by my OB and pushed through the days. At this time I had started a new job that I really hated in nursing home (trying to avoid triggers, but you can see where that would be rough for someone with HG). I ended up quitting my job, and I'm glad that I did as the nausea and vomiting only got exponentially worse. At this time I was on the max dose of Diclegis and still vomiting one or two times per day.

I get a lot of eye rolls for this, but I had considered that if I was sick on Diclegis, maybe it wasn't really doing anything for me- so I stopped it, thinking less is more for baby, right? Wrong. I felt amazing for a day- no nausea whatsoever and was finally able to feel thrilled about my pregnancy instead of sad, sick, and helpless. And then, that night, I got incredibly sick. I threw up every hour and couldn't keep any solids or liquids down. This lasted two days before I gave in and went back on my Diclegis. Felt great for the first full day of it, then back to constant nausea and minimal vomiting.

More eye rolls as I attempted to tweak my meds, considering that if I felt great when I was going off or on, maybe it was an issue of build up (as my OB told me this medication does). I figured that maybe I was taking too much and that's why the nausea was persistent. I attempted to just lower the dose slowly- going from four to three pills/day one day, then trying two pills/day the next. Cue thunderdome. Even on just two Diclegis pills, I was back to vomiting every half hour, unable to keep anything down, but this time I was having terrible diarrhea too- sometimes WHILE vomiting! Talk about embarrassing! After five hours of persistent vomiting and diarrhea, unable to keep water or Gatorade down, I was shaky and barely able to pull myself up. I attempted taking Diclegis, but just threw it up. We called my mother-in-law who is a NICU nurse to make sure I wasn't overreacting, and headed to the hospital where I was given two bags of IV fluids, and IV Reglan (toward the end I was throwing up brown, but hadn't eaten or drank anything- was told that this was probably due to damage from vomiting). This was all at 10:30pm, and I was sent home at 12:30am.

2am I'm back up puking all of the fluids up- diarrhea too. Then again at 5am. I took a Diclegis, drank some Gatorade, and was exhausted enough to sleep some. Called my OB in the morning to let them know that I had been to the ER, and they told me to continue the Diclegis and also prescribed Zofran (a suppository as well, but couldn't afford it with my crummy insurance :( .)

Yesterday was my first day of taking a full dose of Diclegis, and Zofran as needed. My sickness seems to be worse at night, so around 6pm when I started feeling severely nauseated again, I took a Zofran and it kicked in incredibly quickly and I felt great. Took another at 10:30pm when I was feeling crappy again, along with a Benadryl, and felt well enough to sleep in an hour. Woke up starving. Hooray!

But now here I am, having successfully eaten breakfast, taken my meds like a good girl, and then I got very nauseous randomly. Took a Zofran (fool-proof now, right?) but no relief. I'm now 11 weeks along, and haven't worked since November. Obviously I'm concerned about our baby, but I've read and been told not to worry, that I'm probably suffering more than he/she is, and to just focus on feeling better- so I'm trying to push that concern out. My primary trial right now is how frustrated I am! I think I've found something that works, and then all of a sudden it stops working. The lack of consistency is driving me nuts, and I'm surprised that I don't have bedsores. This feeling of uselessness too is hard. I know, I know, "You're growing a human!" But without showing, it's hard to really think that way, especially when I kinda forced myself to believe that this would never happen. We're so lucky in that everything seems healthy and on track for baby, and my husband is amazingly supportive. We are not well-off by any means, but we're making it work and he's treating me like a damn queen. I'm just not used to feeling so debilitated and I have a hard time being compassionate towards myself. I read instances on these forums of women much worse off than I am, and feel almost worse about not being able to shower for three days, having a hard time brushing my teeth, not being able to attend family functions (especially this time of year) because who knows when the voms will strike? He waits on me hand and foot and I don't know how to repay him. He tells me that what I'm doing is more than enough repayment (and that repayment is not necessary, of course), but again- the lack of self-compassion keeps me in my negative headspace of "ugh, so worthless".

Sorry, I know this is so long-winded and feels kinda petty compared to a lot of women who are worse off with their HG, but I was hoping when we announced it that one of my maternal figures would come out of the woodwork to sympathize- but so far, I'm solo. *sigh*

Thanks in advance for any encouragement/advice <3
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Re: First Timer- Sickness, Helplessness, Frustration

Postby karleysmomma » Dec 31, 2016 1:44 am

It seems like this forum has not been visited in a long time. I come here at least every other night, hoping that I see someone post. I don't FB and I think that may be where all our fellow HG victims are. I see you posted in the 18th, and I can't say I am much help. I am on Zofran and promethazine tabs as well as suppositories. I also take unisom and B6 and something else for acid (I think). I am 11 weeks. I can tell you zofran helps, but in my case the nausea never goes away no matter what. The vomiting sometimes goes away for a few hours or when I am sleeping. I feel your pain. Take care of yourself and know that you are not alone. I will pray for you. I will check back when I am feeling better to see if you responded. Also, if anyone can tell me what to do for the constant constipation that would be great. I can't do miralax. I throw it right up every single time.
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