Please Help - I feel like I can't do this.

[Brenda]

I am currently 6w4d. I was doing really well but today took a turn for the worse. This morning I was so nauseas I couldn't choke down anything. I am sooo thirsty but everytime I try to drink something I gag. I managed a piece of toast but now I feel worse. I worked all day and as soon as I got home my husband went to a nursing clinical and I have been the worlds worst mother. My dd has watched non-stop TV and I have no patience for her. If she gets into something I just lose it and yell at her. She ate junk for dinner and I just can't seem to manage. I am very mad at myself I decided to do this again. I am so stupid for thinking maybe this time would be different. I am just wishing I didn't get pg and I feel so bad. I just can't imagine how I will get thru the next 33 weeks. I just need the nausea to stop. I need a break. My house is a total wreck and I just try not to care. My husband lost his patience because I don't do anything around the house. How do I cope?????

Brenda

[kirsty]

I know how hard it is to cope the second time around!
I have no real advice except to say that you need to put you first for a while. (just about impossible when you have a child I know)
do you have anyone you can ask for help?
even if it is just to cook dinner?
we are thinking about no 3 at the moment. I am saving to hire a nanny/ housekeeper part time to take off the pressure a little. can you afford to hire someone even for a couple of hours a week?
try and ignore the mess, and ask your husband to buy some new videos and a few new toys for your daughter to watch and play with and amuse herself with.
remember, the odd meal consisting of junk will not harm her, and every child gets yelled at every now and then. it does not make you a bad mother, just human.
you got thru this before, which shows how strong you are.
you can do it again.
hang in there because every day is a day closer!

[stephanie greene]

Brenda,

I am so sorry that you are having sucha hard time. It is normal to feel like you want to no be pg, to wish you weren't. This is a very difficult time for you. All I can say is that I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT! Call someone when you are feeling down and get the encouragement you need. Email us. Whatver it takes to get through that moment. Here it is evening again. You made it through another day. One more day that brings you closer to being done. As for your house ...you have to let it go. You and your children are the main priority. Remind your husband of how hard this is and that you will absolutley need his support. I wish I could say more to help. Just know YOU CAN DO IT! YOu are doing it! Go one day at a time. ALso...you don't know that the next 33 weeks will be tough. Don't look at the whole 33 weeks. Set a smaller goal. the first trimester...each week...what ever is easiest. Ask for help. friends, family, church, neighbors...anyone who is a mother even if they were not sick will want to help you. Share your thoughts and fears and let others know you need them. I will pray for you every day I promise. We will get through this together! I wish we were close together...internet is great though!!! I am in Oregon. 9 weeks 1 day.
you can do it!
Stephanie

[kmillard]

Hi Brenda.........just wanted to let you know that I was at that point yesterday after 3 wks of feeling bad (I am 11 wks pg). I have a really great OB and I am taking Zofan, but was still losing weight and not eating or drinking. This too is my 2nd pg. with HG and I have 3 year old daughter that is also running around the house wild and eating whatever she get her hands on because I just don't have the energy to deal with the issues. Try not to feel guilty, which is easier said than done because I too feel guilty. Just remember that it will not last forever and then you have a beautiful baby. Do find some help. I am thinking of having someone coming for the next few weeks just to pick up around the house and the laudry. My husband is great, but he works all day and we have no family here. It is still hard, but I do have my daughter in preschool 2 days wk all day and at home daycare once a wk.

Today for me was the turning point where I felt in control of my HG. I asked my dr to start me on IV fluids at home and he agreed and he also referred me to a gastroenterist dr who started my TPN in the 1st pg. I saw him today and his agreed that I have lost to much weight and needed to start the ball rolling for the TPN.

I was so disappointment in myself because I had HG again, but I knew more than likely I would have HG in my this pg and even my OB told me. I was still hoping and praying that I would not be sick at all and believe or not I am not as sick as I was with my daughter. After yesterday, I knew that I had to let those feelings go and take care of me and my drs agreed.

Call your dr and see if you can get started on some meds and don't feel like you are alone because you are not. You should not have to suffer!! If they don't agree to meds, find another dr that will help treat you!

Take care and good luck!

Kathy

[Brenda]

Thank You all for your kind words. It was the encouragment I needed. I feel like I have a better handle on it now. The part that keeps sending me over the edge is that I keep running out of food & drink I can tolerate. Every meal is just literally too much to handle. I have no "safe" drinks anymore. DRINK MENT. I was able to tolerate fresh lemonade but I have now exhausted that. Water makes me gag as does all pop, koolaid, slushies, gaterade, all juice and now I will try my last resort iced tea. I just want one more good day. I wish we had a few "get out of HG Hell" Free One Day passes. I just need one good day.

I just can't thank you enough for the support you guys give, it really keeps me going.

I have really come to the place where I am OK with my house being a MESS and if my husband is that bothered with it, I am giving myself the OK to not worry about it. As rough as it sounds, his feelings towards my lack of household duties are just one more thing I and letting go of.

Unfortunately, I have no sick time and we do not have the extra money to hire help so those aren't options. Both of my parents work FT and are too busy to help me too much. My in-laws are a nightmare and they are not an option. My neighbors have offerred to help and I just need to get over feeling bad for asking for help.

Thanks again and I hope all of you keep up the awesome attitude and keep plugging along. Just think, in less than a year from now all of us will have HG behind us. I can't wait.

Hugs
Brenda