Rainy, huh? We had rain, too, but it wasn't Michigan rain. Just remembering that actually makes me glad I'm not there. Interesting.
Ok, so get ready to laugh! Well, our China adoption plans turned into hosting a foreign exchange student this fall from Japan! Adoption plans have turned local, 1/2 the price, and a NEWBORN. We're not paired w/ a birthmom yet, but are just starting to work on our portfolio, and I wrote my dear birthmom letter last night. Thinking about posting it here.
I love my new home. Ok, sleeping in the unfinished basement is not the funnest, but I'm adjusting, and hoping to have it finished enough for the kids to inhabit the basement by the end of summer. We're finally getting some neighbors moving in, and it's just so exciting! I designed my home for our needs, and so that I would love it, and I truly do. I don't think I've ever lived in a place that fit so comfortably.
I honestly can't see that beautiful mountain out my backdoor, anymore. Now there is a house there, so I have to go outside and stand in the side of my yard (oh shucks, huh).
Yeah, HG gets harder to control each time, but I've been asking repeat HGers lately about how much more difficult it is, and they keep saying that they are handling it better than the first time - that even if it's awful it's not neccessarily worse overall - taking everything into consideration. There have been cases of HG that were totally out of control, and that was why the HGers suffered so much, and proactive treatment made it so much more manageable. Maybe you could spend some time writing up a protocol, see how you feel in a month. We will support you regardless of what you choose.
I know what you mean about wanting another. I'm nutso. I tear up at every new baby I see. I told myself for years I'd be ok never mothering a newborn again - I was so unprepared to discover how much it actually means to me. I feel just as excited about this adoption agency, and applying as I did about conceiving my first, or 2nd, or getting our 3rd. Twins even look good! (What am I saying?!?). All that neat excitement is back. Come to think of it, I've not been this excited about babies for over a year. Maybe I'm finally healing.
Your logic isn't neccessarily wrong, you know. HG is hard. But living with broken dreams, that's tough, too.
Huge hugs, Andy
Mom to Aaron 14 (HG), Anna 11 (HG), Adam 8 (adopted), Andrew 8 (adopted), fostering a newborn . . .