Dads to be- your HG Wives need you!

A place where partners, fathers, friends, and family members can discuss experiences and difficulties regarding loved ones' Hyperemesis.

Moderator: cormander

Dads to be- your HG Wives need you!

Postby HBofHG » Jun 27, 2004 6:46 am

Hello!
I am a surviving hb of an hg surviving dw. As much as going through hg is upsetting for the women, it's just as upsetting for the men having to watch their wives going through the nasuea, feeling miserable and not being able to do anything about it. The only thing I can say is that being as supportive as possible is just what wives need at this time, that is all you can do (well, in my case making several panicked phonecalls to her doctor at 2:00 in the morning made me feel pretty useful!!) most husbands are not doctors, but most husbands I know are very caring, and that is what you need to be. It is a very lonely time for both of you, but once it is all over (at week 12-13) you will both be happy you went through it together. Knowing that you are there for her, can make a big difference. As I am writing this my wife is playing with our 2 1/2 year old son, who is anxiously waiting for me to finish, so HE can get on the internet to look at pictures of cars. I guess this is as good a time as any to break. Good Luck!!
My wife survived two HG pg and we have two fantastic little boys.
Christopher 8/6/01
Nicholas 4/6/04
HBofHG
New Member
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Jun 26, 2004 9:15 pm
Location: Southeastern Pennsylvania, U.S.A.

Postby mammaclare » Jun 28, 2004 9:29 pm

Thank you for your post and for being your wife's support through HG.

My own DH was great, for the most part, but you are so right in saying it is a very lonely time. When I was sickest, he did what he thought he could but spent most of his time on the computer, hiding from me and my HG because it was too hard for him. I wish he had simply sat near me more often.

You mentioned it ends at week 12-13...just know that many of us don't have that magic moment where it is all over until the baby is OUT! I happened to be on medication until I delivered and was on medical leave from my job from weeks 7-23. And I consider that to be mild when stacked against some of the survivors!
Clare
Mommy to Rory Benjamin 8-28-03
And Kieran Alexander 12-15-06
HG Babies-Week 5 to The Bitter End!
Image
mammaclare
Forum Moderator
 
Posts: 3414
Joined: May 31, 2004 8:48 pm

Postby PamelaRose » Jun 29, 2004 2:16 pm

Beautifully written! HG is a true test for any marriage; many husbands don't appreciate the added burdens placed on them while the wives are incapacitated, but they cope. After 4 times through for us, my husband and I finally realized that we had secret lives during my illnesses--I had my own inner world of pain and suffering, but he, too, was suffering. Talking about that, acknowledging that, brought some closure to the stressful child-bearing years of our life together. As much as I was looking for support and validation and non-crackering comments, my husband was looking for support and validation. It's difficult to do in the depths of HG, but taking a moment to acknowledge his input and his ability to keep the world turning can ease stress for both of you. Any dad who stands by through a long HG pregnancy (and agrees to face it again, no less) is a hero--too bad we don't get more of you here to tell you so! :D
Pamela

4-Time HG Survivor
*Brody (8-11-98 )
*Avery (1-24-01)
*Reilly (12-16-02)
PamelaRose
Forums Administrator
 
Posts: 6263
Joined: Apr 05, 2004 8:34 pm
Location: Danube, MN

Guilty. . .

Postby HBofHG » Jun 29, 2004 7:22 pm

You are right Clare, while most HG's last up to 13 weeks, some HG's last (gulp!) up until delivery :( I am guilty as the folks you try to explain HG to- their advice is always "Well, just take little bites of crackers, or try ginger ale", etc. While this is good advice for morning sickness, it just doesn't mean a thing to a woman who finds it hard to breathe w/out getting nausea. My heart goes out to all women who suffer from HG, but as I've said before, it is well worth it when you hold that new baby for the first time!!! :D I'm not just a guy saying this, my DW/HG surviving wife, and many other multiple HG survivors in this forum will back me up.
My wife survived two HG pg and we have two fantastic little boys.
Christopher 8/6/01
Nicholas 4/6/04
HBofHG
New Member
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Jun 26, 2004 9:15 pm
Location: Southeastern Pennsylvania, U.S.A.

Postby caleighbelle47 » Jul 02, 2004 3:34 am

I just want to say how much I admire all the husbands of women with HG. My husband has been nothing short of wonderful to me during this hard time. No doubt HG is hard, but I can't imagine what it would be like if I had to watch my husband have it. I'm definately better at being the sick one. Right now my husband is sick, and I stopped and thought for a minute what it would be like if I had to watch him go through this for 5 or more months, I don't know how I'd be able to deal with it, it would rip my heart out. That so many husbands can be so supportive amazes me, and when they do multiple times. Anyway, I'm just trying to say thanks.

Angela
caleighbelle47
Forums Administrator
 
Posts: 7867
Joined: Jun 07, 2004 1:06 am
Location: Utah

Postby Scott » Jul 12, 2004 6:11 pm

Im new to all of this,feels kinda like I fell into the deep end here lol.

I first found out that my fiance has HG about 6weeks ago,her doctor was useless and said it was just morning sickness.A week later I took her to a midwife who sent us to hospital immediately.

My fiance had had a misscariage only a few months before,so you can understand we both felt scared.

Until I came across this site all I knew about Hyperemesis was what the hospital had told me"its just like morning sickness",after taking her into hospital for 5 days a time over 7 times now I decided to search to find out more about this condition.

I must say I am very dissapointed with the lack of information given to the both of us by our local hospital!

I have felt so bad over these weeks as like other fathers do,I feel helpless,frustrated,and dont forget tired.My fiance tells me not to visit her everyday,thats like telling a kid"dont touch that" lol.
I know she must feel bad,but until reading this site,I didnt realise just how bad a condiotion it is.

Anyway,enough of my sob story,its good to see a site with all this information and support :)
"I just need some sleep!!"
Scott
New Member
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Jul 12, 2004 6:01 pm
Location: Scotland

Postby multymfoiled » Jul 28, 2004 10:20 pm

I'm so glad I stumbled across the HER Foundation web site and this forum! My wife is about 9 weeks pregnant, and has been suffering from HG for the past three weeks...Several visits to the doctors, and 17+ pounds lost later, she's on a cocktail of meds that seemed to be working...Compazine, Pepcid tablets, b6 and Unisom (although, she got headaches while taking the unisom so stopped). She went a weekend vomit-free, but then has begun to get sick again over the past few days...No dry heaves yet, but everything she ate today came up.

All of this is happening at the same time we're trying to seel our house, so I'm doing triple duty between work, dealing with the house, and supporting her. It's been a strain on my work schedule as well...I want to save my vacation/sick dependant time for the birth...Thankfully I am able to work from home or on the road from time to time, but the days I can't are quite difficult. While I hope we're one of the lucky couples that this passes for as the first trimester ends, but I can't help but think this could be a very long 9 months...It makes it hard to focus on the joy of pending parenthood.

My wife is sleeping at the moment, but I can't wait to tell her about this site in the morning...The information I've read has been empowering and inspiring!

Tym
multymfoiled
New Member
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Jul 28, 2004 10:13 pm

Postby Jer&Kar » Dec 24, 2004 8:06 am

First, thank you so much to the HER foundation for having such a comprehensive gathering of information regarding hyerpemesis.

I am a hyperemesis husband who is supporting a wife in the midst of a second HG pregnancy. Like many people, my wife was told during the first pregnancy that it was 'morning-sickness' and was hospitalized 3 times for rehydration and nutritional intraveneous therapy. It wasn't until her third hospitalization (and her OB was out of town), that another OB recognized a problem and put her on Zofran. That was 2 years ago and the result was a virbrant and healthy baby boy.

This time, instead of week 10, she started getting sick at about week 4. She's been on 4 times the dosage of Zofran and still has difficulty sleeping, eating, functioning. Reading that HG typically follows a similar pattern to earlier pregnancies, she (and I) are at this time very discouraged knowing that we have 30 weeks remaining as she was ill up until the actual delivery of our first child.

With her being incapacitated most of the day, and doing what she can just to be a mother to our current child, it can be very daunting for a partner / father to come home from a full day of work to face the spectre of cooking for the family, cleaning, doing the laundry, being Dad, and through the whole process finding time to offer the emotional support that your pregnant wife needs to battle HG.

As I'm sure we've all heard "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". Through her first pregnancy I gained a lifetime of respect for my wife and the way she battled HG to give us the beautiful gift of our son. Through the effort that we both put in at that time, we made our marraige that much stronger. And as a husband, when I feel like quitting, I have to remind myself that she doesn't have that option and trust that the effort and support that I put in over the next 7 months will return to us in the form of a healthy and strong child. That's the hope I cling to.

Again, I thank you for the opportunity to share and hope that this site continues to offer the information needed to cope with the physical and emotional stresses of HG. We'll be stopping in often.
Jer&Kar
New Member
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Dec 24, 2004 7:42 am


Return to Partners, Friends, and Family

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests

cron