Hi Mara.
I know that "the life beyond" can feel like a complete fantasy that someone dreamed up to tease you with. ((((Hugs)))) I've only been getting out of the house generally no more than once a week for months and months now, and the isolation is a killer, especially if you're prone to depression anyway.
You will get there. You really really will.
I can imagine how uncomfortable you are. I remember my mother pregnant with twins. She was housebound from 7 or 8 months without adding HG to the equation, and (sorry, bad news I know) needing support to get around at all for the last month or so, but she was so tired she just slept most of the time anyway. Dad had to cut back his work days to take care of the house and my brothers and I. She was HUGE, and here's pathetic me whinging about being bigger than I was with my first, but at least only carrrying one!
Do you have lots of support to help you with your DD for the next few months? I assume she's at school, so do you have friends that can do the morning and afternoon runs for you? Maybe even keep her for an hour or two after school? It makes for a big day for a little girl, but may be well worth it. All those people who talked you into doing this again can now step up and help get you through it.
There is another lady here, and American, who had twins the second time around. I'm not sure of the age gap between them and the older sibling, but I do know that she would be a very understanding listener. I think her name is Teddi, unless I'm mixed up (which is possible at this stage of my very muddy-brained pg).
Thinking of you
Amanda