Just found this forum via Blooming Awful (http://www.hyperemesis.org.uk/).
We (actually my wife) is currently in her 16th week and in the hospital connected to an IV. She has more or less been there since she was about 9 weeks pregnant. In the past 7 weeks she has been admitted to the hospital 5 times. Each time the stay was at least a week. Most of the times (except the last) she was back in the hospital within 24 hours of being discharged.
After two IVF sessions, this is our second pregnancy. First ended in a miscarriage. In the first pregnancy we had assumed that my wife was so ill due to the embryo/fetus not having developed correctly from week 5.
I have been lucky that the management team at work has been flexible and allowed me to work from home at varying hours. My days are usually as follows:
5:30AM wake up, get on line (to work) and answer emails, etc.
7:30 Take the dog for a walk
8:30 either go to work, or continue to work from home
15:00 go home to walk the dog
17:00 fight rush hour traffic and drive to the hospital to spend some time with the wife
21:00 get back home and walk the dog
22:00 Check emails and do some work
22:30 sleep
Feeling totally helpless in doing what I thought a man was suppose to do. Make his wife feel good, and protect her. The feeling of just sitting on a sofa staring at a TV while she is in the bathroom vomiting for the third time in the past hour. This is one of times where she was actually home for less than 24 hours before we have to go back to the hospital.
My wife has told me several times how much she loves me, and how I am helping by being there with her as much as I can. By loving her, and letting her know that she is not crazy, as some medical staff have hinted. Yet, I still feel inadequate in helping her. Inadequate since I can not make my wife feel well.
There are many worst things, and I am glad, and hope, that we will never experience these. However, at this time, the worst thing I have experienced in my life is the feeling of helplessness.
We live in Canada, and I must admit that the doctor's have been GREAT. The very first time we went to emergency, we were correctly handled. They hooked her up to an IV, and administered Gravol, amongst other medicines to stop the vomiting. Even once the vomiting had stopped, they would not discharge my with until a resident from gynecology had visited my wife.
The resident from Gyno immediately told us that my wife will not be going home for at least three days. HG was quickly identified.
After having read some of the horror stories on this, and other sites, I feel that we were lucky to have gotten proper treatment quickly.
My wife best described pregnancy as a disease. After all, there is no joy to being pregnant.
We will continue the battle with HG and we can only hope that soon the nausea will pass, and my wife and I will be able to think more positively of the pregnancy.
For all the husbands or boy friends out there, we do make a difference. Although we can not help our loved ones physically, we can help in an area which is just as important, if not more. We can help them mentally. Make sure that your wife knows that she is not unique. Let her know that there are many other women out there who have and are in battle with HG. Let them know that they are not crazy. They are sick due to an illness.
Just keep one thing in mind. No matter how hard it is for us, they are the ones living with both the physical and the mental anguish of HG.
Give your wife a kiss and let her know that you love her.