Welcome, and a little about my journey here.......

Discuss the triumph or heartache of not having more children, and the struggle to make that decision.

Moderators: JennyK, nomore, dwtegli

Welcome, and a little about my journey here.......

Postby HGx3 » Jun 29, 2005 1:50 am

The decision to limit family size, is a personal journey for each one of us........and a hard one at that.
The problem is, we dont know how to interperete the emotions we have on the subject. I would like to share my personal experience on this. I hope it will offer a little comfort and maybe some insight on the matter.

After my second hg pregnancy, I didnt know if I wanted to be done, but that actually was not true. I didnt know if I wanted to face HG again.

In my heart, deep down inside, I knew my family wasnt complete. I pondered and pondered trying to concieve, when finally, God made the decision for me. What a relief, that I didnt have to go back and forth with all of the what if's of another pregnancy!

My third hg pregnancy, was by far, my worst. The hg started early and did not let up until 2 days pp. After giving birth, I KNEW I WAS DONE. NO QUESTIONS! I knew I could NEVER face hg again, nor could I put my family through it!

I had all kinds of health related issues as a result of my hg. I know that my body would not handle another hg pregnancy. I think sometimes you probably do want the option of more biologcal children, but you are right to consider what another pregnacy would do to you, in terms of your own health.

If you think that it could potentially take you away from the child/children you have already worked so hard to have, then you really have to weigh out whether or not it is truly worth the *RISK*.

It is so hard to make it final, but if you know that it is the best thing for you and your family, you wont have any regrets about it.
I know that we dont!

I wish you comfort and peace of mind as you face making a decision on prevention options.
Last edited by HGx3 on Jun 29, 2005 2:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Huge Hugs,
Lisa
HG Mom to:
Matthew, 2001
Lauryn, 2002
Joshua,2004

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HGx3
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Postby mandy » Jun 29, 2005 5:29 am

Hi Lisa,

Am I allowed to respond to a 'sticky' ????

I can't sit comfortably with this:

'The decision to limit family size, is a personal journey for each one of us........and a hard one at that. The truth of the matter is, I think you truly know in your heart if you are done or not.'

Been thinking about it for three years. Thinking so much that not only my heart aches, but my head aches now too! I reckon I'll go to my grave unresolved with this one. In my heart I am done for the sake of my dh and children. And, for me - for my health etc. But in my heart I am also not done, I am two children short of my dream! If I accidently got pregnant now, I would feel it was meant to be. I am not brave enough though, to actively try for another. Stupid eh?

I hate hg :cry:

Mandy x
mother of two
hg from wk 6 - daughter born in 1999
hg from wk 5 - son born in 2002
mandy
HG Diva
 
Posts: 2397
Joined: May 29, 2004 11:13 am
Location: south west england

Postby HGx3 » Jun 29, 2005 2:24 pm

Mandy,

Not stupid at all...and a very good point!!! Thank you sharing your perspective. I will remove that statement. This was my main dilemma, and experience, and I suspect, yours as well:

After my second hg pregnancy, I didnt know if I wanted to be done, but that actually was not true. I didnt know if I wanted to face HG again.


Our surprise was a blessing, so I know what you mean. Of course, after him, Dh got snipped, lol :oops: !!!!
Huge Hugs,
Lisa
HG Mom to:
Matthew, 2001
Lauryn, 2002
Joshua,2004

Image
HGx3
Devoted to You
 
Posts: 1485
Joined: May 30, 2004 11:30 pm
Location: Jackson, MS

Postby mandy » Jun 29, 2005 2:46 pm

Lisa,

I agree with your statement. Don't ever wanna face hg again that I can be sure of! I'm feeling really sad at the moment (probably monthly hormones and too many friends having babies). I feel my time has passed as I would have wanted my children close together so unless fate gives me a surprise twin pregnancy........................... :wink: ! I'm definately done but so sad about it. I hope I feel better one day but one thing is definate - this amazing site has helped me heal loads from my hg experiences and hopefully will do the same in this area of my life. Things have certainly improved from 18 months ago anyway, when I was very angry and frustrated.

Thank you to all the moderators for the constant support to all of us in different places in our lives.

Mandy x
mother of two
hg from wk 6 - daughter born in 1999
hg from wk 5 - son born in 2002
mandy
HG Diva
 
Posts: 2397
Joined: May 29, 2004 11:13 am
Location: south west england

done

Postby taylorsmama » Mar 23, 2007 8:16 am

i terminated a pregnancy at 11 weeks due to hg . i was literally dying but it was still a horrible choice to have to make.
i sufferd from hydronephrosis as well which also recurs. i decided to have a tubal ligation and then had a hysterectomy and later had the ovaries and tubes removed due to endometriosis.
i have always accepted the loss and have always felt i made the right choice but it is still very hard to deal.
the guilt form terminating ate away at me for the past 4-5 years.i am finally grieving the loss now.
i think it was just to much to process at the time, especailly with all the surgeries.
it is a very personal decision to make.
ive been through a lot so if anyone has any questions, ask away.
menopausal at 30
jennifer
taylorsmama
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Location: mi


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